Category: challenges

advice · challenges · Changes · inspiration · music

Child of Mine

Joanne2 Comments

Music, at times, can give me goose bumps. Not just any music though. It has to be the right combination of tune, lyrics, vocals and instruments for the “goose bumps effect” to occur. I spoke of the music/goose bumps combination in a previous post “Time Travelling…with Music”.

Rarely does the written word have the same effect on me as music does. Sure, I’ll be the first one to admit how easy it is to lose yourself in the imaginary world of a book, and yes, words do have a profound effect, although not generally the “goose bumps” effect.

The following passage, however, not only gave me goose bumps, but also brought tears to my eyes ~

“Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you”. ~ Abraham Hicks.

Oh how easy it is to allow natural maternal or paternal instincts to take over, disguised in the names of nurturing, protection and love. When our children are new born babies, of course we do everything for them. They rely on us as parents to be there when they are hungry, to dress them and keep them warm, tuck them into bed at night and have hugs available by the barrow load. We have wonderful dreams of the amazing people our children will grow into.

As the years progress, we develop a habit of “doing” for our children, believing they expect us to be there for them, because that’s just what parents are there for! Think about it, didn’t our own parents always “do” for us?

And then there comes a time when we must begin to let go. With the passing of the years, our children are learning, mostly through watching the examples we set for them, through our own actions, therefore, haven’t they learned from the best? 😉

Gradually, we see a change in their demeanour. They become more independent, personal preferences begin to show. Our children still need us, but their needs change. No longer expecting us to spoon feed them, they begin to seek our approval.

Our role in their lives changes, we become our children’s “most avid cheerleading section”, giving them the confidence to strive ahead, forge on and follow their dreams. Because now, the dreams they are following are those of their own making, not our dreams for them.

As a mother of four, I have learned five main lessons from my children ~

  • Believe in them. If they have your support, in whatever they choose to do, they feel invincible.
  • Allow them to have the freedom to experience the world for themselves.
  • Keep the lines of communication open to them. Let them know they can confide in you, no matter what.
  • Let them make their own mistakes, and be there for them, when they need you.
  • Most of all, keep on loving them, and let them know you do. No child is ever too old to be reassured that they are loved by a parent.

With mutual respect and love, as the years progress, your dependant little baby will become a friend, and not just any friend, but a friend you can trust, rely on and cherish.

There is nothing more exhilarating than to watch your own child growing up, allowing them the opportunity to become the person who they really are and becoming acquainted with their own individual personality.


challenges · Changes · inspiration

A Sunday Job in Progress

Joanne3 Comments

My house is in total disarray. Master twelve thinks it looks as though we have just moved into a new house while my two cats are in a state of total confusion. The dog has been banished to the backyard.

It’s all for a worthy cause, however the cats have their doubts! The Man of the House (M.O.T.H.) and I both agree it is a job well overdue.

Yesterday we dismantled the main living area of the house, this being the “Family Room”, which comprises of the kitchen, meals area and the family lounge room, (as opposed to my Quiet Room).

The M.O.T.H. painted the whole ceiling area yesterday afternoon, not an easy task and one which has left him with a major “kink” in the neck!

Before I emptied the dresser, to be pulled away from the wall, I bemoaned the fact that it would take forever to remember where everything went, but with trusty camera in hand, I now have photographic evidence of the original placement of all my kitchen wares.

The mirror is down from over the mantelpiece, as is the mantelpiece itself. The house has not looked this bare since we built it, over sixteen years ago.

Curtains are down, mats removed, cupboards and bookcases emptied; the television cabinet is yet to be moved, which will be a major feat, as the fish tank is sitting on top of it!

There’s barely a room in the house that doesn’t contain the clutter of the rearrangement.

A new lounge-suite is due to arrive any day. The old family room lounge has served the family well for the past twelve years, and now it is time for it to move on.

Donned in my painting clothes, the M.O.T.H. and I will be tackling the walls today. I agonised over a colour change for the room and have settled on a coffee colour, which I am hoping will be as easy to live with as the cool shades of pale green, which we are replacing.

Meanwhile, Queen Cat has found herself a private couch in an out of the way room and little Cutie Cat is still unimpressed!

For me, it’s hi-ho, hi-ho and off to work I go! 🙂

advice · challenges · Changes · inspiration

A Rejuvenated Soul

Joanne2 Comments

When it comes to keeping mementos, I’m up there with the best of them. Those treasured keepsakes, the trinkets of happiness, able to transport the soul to bygone days of warmth, wonder and joy.

But just how much warmth and joy can one soul take? Can the soul cope with possession overload, and still function in its soulful way? Are you a victim of “stifled soul”?

Help is available. “Stifled Soul” is treatable and curable, no drugs or hospitalisation required!

Clothing and shoes are a huge soul stifler. When the disheartened soul is peering at “a wardrobe full of nothing to wear”, that would be a great place to begin. Go through each item in your wardrobe, one by one, asking the same question of each item of clothing and pair of shoes stashed in there; “Have I worn this in the last year?” If the answer is “no”, out it goes!

Next, open the linen closet. Are all of the sets of sheets in there still being used? Are there even beds in the house that still fit the sheets in the closet? And the towels, does your family of four really use the fifty towels you have stashed away in there?

The charity shops will love you, when you arrive at the door, laden with bags of excess “stuff” you no longer have a use for. The health of your soul will be improving as well.

Every room in the house will benefit from a repeat of the above “drug-free prescription”.  Kitchen cupboards and drawers, table tops and coffee tables, display shelving, even clean out the car. The soul sees and feels all.

Next, take a few deep, long, cleansing breaths…in preparation for a good old “paper-shuffle”, in the office, on the desk, or wherever those “important papers” are kept. With recycle bin at hand, go through all of that junk mail, opened envelopes, used shopping lists, in fact any piece of paper no longer required, bin it!

To keep the paper work in check in the future, invest in two or three file trays and some storage boxes. When neatly placed on top of your freshly cleaned desk top, along with a pen holder (a place to keep those elusive pens and pencils that have a knack of vanishing, just when you need them), everything will have its place.

By the time all of these tidy-up and throw out tasks are completed, you’ll feel lighter and freer than you have in years, all due to the fresh air your once stifled soul is now breathing.

To prevent a re-occurance of “stifled soul”, I would recommend repeating the treatment on an annual basis. Your healthy soul will thank you for it!

There’s nothing new about having a good old-fashioned clean out; even our grandmother’s took part in an annual “spring clean”, although the season of spring is not necessarily required for soul therapy to be carried out.

When the cleanout is complete in the home and office, your heart, mind and soul will feel light and refreshed as well, rejuvenated, and awaiting the next chapter of life’s evolving events.

advice · challenges · inspiration

A Pleasurable Chore

Joanne2 Comments

What is the big attraction for cats, to ironing boards?

Currently I reside in a home belonging to two fury felines. (I’ve been told to stick with two as a maximum, as three would classify me as a “crazy cat lady”.)

That’s right, my little ladies are typical princesses, they allow our family to share their home, and conditions apply; a regular stream of dry kitty biscuits, nightly feeds of pongy fish, always fresh water available, a clean litter tray, first choice of comfy seat to curl up on and the freedom to choose whichever bed they wish to sleep on each night.

When they are in the mood, we are allowed to scratch them under their chin, or stroke their fur, for an unspecified period of time. If the scratching and/or stroking of fur exceeds their expectations, permission is to be granted for them to bite our hand.

Oh yes, cats are very demanding creatures. And if you have ever enjoyed the privilege of being owned by one, you will have experienced the pure delight of hearing that rumbling sound of happiness when they are purring and the out-pouring of love they show when they rub the whole of their bodies up against your legs.

On the days I wish to do my ironing, if one of them chooses the ironing board as a bed that day, I am expected to iron my clothes around their positioning on the board. On days when they feel generous enough, they will actually choose to sleep under the ironing board. But only if I’m lucky.

Such is my love for my feline friends that without them, my house would not be a home. Unfortunately for me, that love does not extend as far as the ironing!

As far as household chores go, vacuuming and dusting are enjoyable enough, with the end result of sparkling furniture and lint-free floors in mind. Bathroom and toilet cleaning can be tolerable as well, and washing the clothes gives me an excuse (not that I need one) to go out into the garden for a while.

And then, there’s the ironing. I’ve struggled for years to find an excuse to enjoy ironing. It has been suggested that I don’t do any ironing, but crumpled clothes? Yuk! There simply had to be an answer, some way for me to enjoy the one household chore that, well, just doesn’t appeal to me.

The solution is simple, really. These days, I listen to music! If only my brainstorm have arrived years earlier…these days I bop away to my heart’s content, iron in hand.

This afternoon, my aim is to clear away the ironing, making a clear space on the chair for anyone, or any cat, who wishes to sit there. (Actually, the cats don’t mind the ironing pile; they sleep comfortably buried in it, for hours!)

The moral to this story is, (yes, there’s a moral here; do you think I’d babble away about the detested ironing for no reason?) ~ look for something enjoyable in everything you do. Just set your mind to it and search for the answer. You’ll find one…I did. 🙂

challenges · Changes · inspiration

“You Can Only Ever Be Yourself, Because Everyone Else Is Taken”.

Joanne3 Comments

Question : “If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?”

NaBloPoMo posed this question, a theme for a writing prompt, earlier this week. And my brain ticked back through time, to my days of independence, freedom, security, youth, simplicity, no responsibilities and no complications.

In this hypothetical meeting, would the teenaged me realise they were having a conversation with their older and wiser self?  I would strongly debate if, in fact, I am now wiser…or, did I actually have life worked out when I was sixteen?

I have to face the facts at this point. At sixteen, I lived within walking distance of a job that I loved and where my bosses appreciated my dedication.  A mere ten minute walk took me to a Gold Coast beach and a forty-five minute bus trip had me in the midst of the bright lights of Surfers Paradise.

Living on Queensland’s Gold Coast was heaven on earth for my sixteen year old self; it was all that I wanted. And did I appreciate this magical life?

First point of advice to sixteen year old self : Appreciate and enjoy your life to the fullest extent of your being. Savour every wonderful moment of every carefree day of your existence. Grab hold of every golden opportunity as it presents itself and run with it. Run like the wind!

Did my sixteen year old self run with every opportunity given? Did I follow my dreams until they became a reality?

The job that I had loved, where I was appreciated as a valued employee, in a major newsagency and bookshop, was not trendy enough for me. So what if I had the enrolment forms to start a course in writing and journalism, this was the Gold Coast! I had to live the part, even if I wasn’t living out my heart’s desire.

The next three years saw me travelling from one boutique store job to the next, where it really was just a J.O.B. – spending all of my hard earned dollars on clothes and shoes, in an attempt to look the part, actually did leave me Just Over Broke!

By age nineteen I worked for the money; my passion for writing had all but vanished.

Second point of advice to sixteen year old self : Fill out those forms, apply for the journalism and writing course and give it all you’ve got! And while you’re at it, stay at the newsagents; you love it there! It’s right up your alley, you’re at home there with all of those books, magazines and writing apparatus. The pay is great for your age and they value the effort you put in. Work on your own passions, not someone else’s!

Women’s Lib had well and truly kicked in by the time I was sixteen. From memory, “burning of the bra” days were long gone but I held enough rebellion in my heart to realise that I was equally as worthy as any man, maybe even more so, in some cases. I had a mouth, along with an attitude, and I wasn’t afraid to use either of them! (My daddy taught me well!)

Not that I looked for trouble where there wasn’t any. I was actually rather placid. But woe betide any man who expected he could run my life! Which poses another hypothetical question, why was I so strongly influenced by other people’s comments, in other areas of my life, as to what I should be doing with my life?

Third point of advice to sixteen year old self : If you follow your dreams and find out later they were not quite what you expected, nothing is set in concrete; change it! Don’t ever…do you hear me?…never, ever, ever be afraid you’ll make a mistake! Mistakes, once made, are a thing of the past, they’re over, gone, finished with. Get on with life, doing what makes you happy!

Hey, I might sound like a bit of a tyrant to myself! Would I listen to me? I’d be too scared not to!

Can we go back in time and in doing so, change our past actions? Of course not! Can we learn from our mistakes? You better believe we can!

I have been blessed to have four children and each of my children have had various snippets of advice from me throughout their lives. As I recall, I have emphasised three points; appreciate what you have, follow your dreams and don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but learn from them.

Even though the opportunity of advising my sixteen year old self of these things is obviously not possible in this lifetime, there are four other young souls who may have heeded a word or two I have uttered.

And as for me? I’m writing this blog post, along with many others, and loving every minute of it. I can’t walk past a book shop, they call out my name, asking me to visit, and I can’t be rude now, can I?

I’m following my dream. It’s never too late. 🙂

My advice to you, dear reader? All of the above, but most of all, be true to you!