advice · Changes

Writing With Reason

There has never been a time in my life when I haven’t wanted to write.

When my memories are panned back as far as they can possibly stretch without breaking, to before I even started my school days, I can recall trying to write by copying words I found, written on pieces of paper, and not having any inkling what all of the scrawl meant! All I knew was, it was writing. And I wanted to know how to write.

For many years thereafter, I did write, until I grew up and somehow lost myself in the real world. Not that I was happy about the real world eating me up.  I would have been quite content to permanently share my book-world with my children.

And share books with them I did, every day. Dratted school interfered. Work interfered. The realities of life flew thick and fast, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t dodge the hits. I’d loved riding on the merry-go-round as a child, but the one I had become caught up on now wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t get off.

Reeling from the shock of “this is life, you can like it or lump it”, I closed my eyes, held my breath and took a massive leap into the nothingness, not knowing how or where I would land.

I’m happy to report that I did in fact survive the jump, and retreated to my safe place, a place so close to my heart it is a part of me. I went home.

The little voices inside of my head kept on urging me on; you know what you want to do, don’t just think about it, do it! My neglected garden needed urgent attention. My kitchen appeared to belong to someone else; it needed a huge dose of “Joanne-ification”.

Somewhere in the midst of becoming reacquainted with the real me, Home Life Online was born. Just one problem; I lacked the confidence to write anything. So many years had passed. What would I say?

Inspired by the need to write, although lacking confidence, I created another blog, “Memoirs of My Life”. I needed somewhere to write anonymously, with the use of a pseudonym. That could work.

And it did; it worked a treat. “Memoirs” filled me with the confidence boost I needed, enough to slowly venture out, one tiny step at a time, into a world where I now feel no fear when saying “this is me and this is what I have to say”.

I have not felt inclined to publicise “Memoirs”. After writing one particular post, however, I meekly mentioned to a new-found online friend of its existence. One beautifully worded comment left by my friend was all it took. From that day on, my confidence has soared, compared to what it used to be!

Sometimes, that is all it takes; a few encouraging words…they can mean the world to someone. Or perhaps an article, written from your own personal life’s experience, however simple, which strikes a chord with a stranger, and sets their life in a whole new positive direction.

My recent discoveries regarding writing have sent me along that particular path; writing in the hope of helping someone, anyone, be they a friend or stranger. And it’s lovely to have feedback, in the form of a comment.

And that is my message today…a few words of kindness, however simple, and even unknowingly, can change the direction of someone’s life. Be kind. 🙂

challenges · Changes · inspiration

“You Can Only Ever Be Yourself, Because Everyone Else Is Taken”.

Question : “If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?”

NaBloPoMo posed this question, a theme for a writing prompt, earlier this week. And my brain ticked back through time, to my days of independence, freedom, security, youth, simplicity, no responsibilities and no complications.

In this hypothetical meeting, would the teenaged me realise they were having a conversation with their older and wiser self?  I would strongly debate if, in fact, I am now wiser…or, did I actually have life worked out when I was sixteen?

I have to face the facts at this point. At sixteen, I lived within walking distance of a job that I loved and where my bosses appreciated my dedication.  A mere ten minute walk took me to a Gold Coast beach and a forty-five minute bus trip had me in the midst of the bright lights of Surfers Paradise.

Living on Queensland’s Gold Coast was heaven on earth for my sixteen year old self; it was all that I wanted. And did I appreciate this magical life?

First point of advice to sixteen year old self : Appreciate and enjoy your life to the fullest extent of your being. Savour every wonderful moment of every carefree day of your existence. Grab hold of every golden opportunity as it presents itself and run with it. Run like the wind!

Did my sixteen year old self run with every opportunity given? Did I follow my dreams until they became a reality?

The job that I had loved, where I was appreciated as a valued employee, in a major newsagency and bookshop, was not trendy enough for me. So what if I had the enrolment forms to start a course in writing and journalism, this was the Gold Coast! I had to live the part, even if I wasn’t living out my heart’s desire.

The next three years saw me travelling from one boutique store job to the next, where it really was just a J.O.B. – spending all of my hard earned dollars on clothes and shoes, in an attempt to look the part, actually did leave me Just Over Broke!

By age nineteen I worked for the money; my passion for writing had all but vanished.

Second point of advice to sixteen year old self : Fill out those forms, apply for the journalism and writing course and give it all you’ve got! And while you’re at it, stay at the newsagents; you love it there! It’s right up your alley, you’re at home there with all of those books, magazines and writing apparatus. The pay is great for your age and they value the effort you put in. Work on your own passions, not someone else’s!

Women’s Lib had well and truly kicked in by the time I was sixteen. From memory, “burning of the bra” days were long gone but I held enough rebellion in my heart to realise that I was equally as worthy as any man, maybe even more so, in some cases. I had a mouth, along with an attitude, and I wasn’t afraid to use either of them! (My daddy taught me well!)

Not that I looked for trouble where there wasn’t any. I was actually rather placid. But woe betide any man who expected he could run my life! Which poses another hypothetical question, why was I so strongly influenced by other people’s comments, in other areas of my life, as to what I should be doing with my life?

Third point of advice to sixteen year old self : If you follow your dreams and find out later they were not quite what you expected, nothing is set in concrete; change it! Don’t ever…do you hear me?…never, ever, ever be afraid you’ll make a mistake! Mistakes, once made, are a thing of the past, they’re over, gone, finished with. Get on with life, doing what makes you happy!

Hey, I might sound like a bit of a tyrant to myself! Would I listen to me? I’d be too scared not to!

Can we go back in time and in doing so, change our past actions? Of course not! Can we learn from our mistakes? You better believe we can!

I have been blessed to have four children and each of my children have had various snippets of advice from me throughout their lives. As I recall, I have emphasised three points; appreciate what you have, follow your dreams and don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but learn from them.

Even though the opportunity of advising my sixteen year old self of these things is obviously not possible in this lifetime, there are four other young souls who may have heeded a word or two I have uttered.

And as for me? I’m writing this blog post, along with many others, and loving every minute of it. I can’t walk past a book shop, they call out my name, asking me to visit, and I can’t be rude now, can I?

I’m following my dream. It’s never too late. 🙂

My advice to you, dear reader? All of the above, but most of all, be true to you!

Changes · daughter

Be Careful What You Wish For…You Just Might Get It!

My hair has always been curly. I was born with curly hair and have enjoyed cursing my curls my entire life.

During the 1980’s “big hair” was the fashion. Hairdressers charged a small fortune, giving women a temporary version of The Look, while I flipped my newly washed hair around a few times and had the same look for the cost of a blob of shampoo and conditioner, a plus for me, as the money I saved on hairdo’s could be put towards the equally as fashionable padded shouldered outfits!

Oh, how I loved to hate my hair! Rain made it curlier, humid weather did the same, straightening was only ever a temporary measure and something I stopped trying to do years ago, around the same time as I stopped painting my long fingernails and wearing fancy dress rings on my fingers. As I recall, the high heels were kicked off also, around the same time as motherhood kicked in.

Age brought with it the wisdom that it was easier to let go of the concept of sleek locks, on my head, anyway.

Advantages to a curly top became apparent. On a windy day, who knew whether I had brushed my hair or not? Curls are simplicity itself on a hot summer’s day, just drag them back and tie them up. Unruly strays, not making it into the hair band were assumed to be delicate curls, placed purposely around my hairline, when in reality they were the runaways!

Comments of “You’re so lucky to have curly hair” have been repeated to me, ad nauseam. Not only do I have curly hair, I have thick, curly hair. Why me?

Last Sunday night we enjoyed a family dinner, my eldest daughters twenty-second birthday. The six of us spend less family time together these days, since my daughter moved out a year ago. A sign of the times, making the nights we are all together more precious than ever.

My two girls asked, for approximately the nine-hundred-and-twenty-first time, could they straighten my hair…they were spending “sisters” time together, trying out new makeup, doing each other’s hair, just like when they were young…how could I refuse?

They fussed and fluttered around, with squeals of “I can’t believe Mum is letting us do this”, interjected throughout the process of “The Straightening”.

The softness of my hair amazed all three of us; my hair being as sleek and smooth as both of my girl’s youthful locks.

Monday morning arrived. Dragging myself into the bathroom, in my usual half-asleep state, I was startled by the sight of a complete stranger in the mirror…where had my curls gone?

I caught my husband, peeking at me sideways, out of the corner of his eyes. “Sorry, but the straight hair just isn’t “you””. No, it wasn’t.

Never have I flung my curls around with such abandon, as when I washed my hair and my curls sprang back to life!

I asked myself, how many times have I preached to my children, “Beauty is only skin deep” and “Looks aren’t everything”? Ah yes, how true….

….But there’s another adage, “Don’t try to be something that you’re not”. Yes, that’s the important one.

Now, I am my curls; my curls are “me”….Did I mention yet how much I simply adore my curls? 😉

Changes

Changes and Growth

“We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand.” ~ C. Day Lewis

When I began this website, it was with the intention of sharing two of my favourite activities – cooking and gardening, both of which are part of “me”. Each post written has been done so with feelings of extreme joy and every future post will be contributed in the same manner.

But there’s something missing and it’s a topic issue.

Every day I find myself inspired to write more! And the inspiration arrives in the form of more diverse subjects than just “Gardening and Gastronomy”!

There is a solution to my dilemma….today, I am happy to introduce a new name to Home Life Online, “Everyday Inspirations”. Life evolves, and changes, and grows, and matures, there is always “more” for us to be…in just the same way as these pages are becoming “more”.

My chronicles of cooking and gardening will continue, as you will see in my last post “Lunch In The Garden…Pea and Ham Soup”.

“A Magical Memory” is my first post in the evolution of Home Life Online. It is my desire that a visit to these articles will provide you with inspiration and joy, along with a few thoughts to contemplate.

If I have achieved that, I am a happy writer. 🙂