Category: freedom

Australia · basics · freedom · happiness · inspiration

More than Words

Joanne4 Comments

Today is the 1st of August, the horse’s birthday. Although I have not had the opportunity to spend much time with horses I do admire the grandeur of the creatures. And it seems an appropriate day to sing the praises of other domestic creatures.

A friend recently told me a story, a story which had astonished her, leaving her in awe of the intelligence of animals.

A parent from the school that her children attend had spent most of the day in search of her wayward pets. Her two dogs had escaped from her yard in the morning. Obviously enjoying their day of freedom, these canine scamps had not returned.

At 3pm that afternoon the woman had headed to the school to collect her children, whilst still searching the streets for the family’s two fury members, only to discover the dogs already at school and waiting for the children.

Dogs are creatures of habit; they know instinctively when they will be fed, when family members are to be picked up or due home, the time to go for a walk and when it is time to sleep at night. Wishing to please their humans, a dog will go with the flow of the day’s events, taught to them by their humans.

Instinct and intuition are an animal’s only means of communication.

Animals have no use for words. For that matter, they have little use for any of the human requirements that we all seem to feel are a necessary commodity to help us through our lives.

Shelter for any beast is whatever they can find; the canopy of a tree will do, to protect them from the elements, although based on my own experience, my dog prefers to curl up in front of the fireplace on a cold winter’s night, as opposed to curling up on the back veranda! However, my pets show absolutely no regard for the decor of their abode; their concern is far more inclined towards tactile pleasantries.

Animals require so little, yet know so much. If we could quieten our own minds enough to tune into the simplicity of the minds of our pets, what an array of wisdom we would have access to!

Each afternoon in my home, at 3.45pm, my two cats and one dog all head towards the front of my house and wait at the window that has the view towards the street. Knowing my youngest son is due home from school, they are ready to fuss over him when he walks through the door.  This same ritual is repeated with the arrival home of each family member.

A dog’s love and loyalty to its human family knows no limits.

One hot summer’s day my eldest daughter was home alone and decided to go for a dip in the pool, but was prevented from doing so as our beautiful Nellie, a German Shepherd, blocked her way along the path. When a large brown snake (one of the deadliest snakes in the world) reared up at them, the reason for Nellie’s protection became obvious.

Before my two eldest children were born, my husband and I had another “baby”; a German Shepherd named Sire. I trusted that dog implicitly! Sire travelled with us wherever we went.

One hot summer, many years ago, during a trip to Dubbo, in the middle of New South Wales, we took Sire for a swim in the Macquarie River. My husband and Sire swam out to the middle of the river, while I stayed closer to the riverbank. After a while my husband encouraged me to swim out further, but Sire was not impressed.

Dog-paddling over to me, he took my arm in his mouth and swam me back to the shore. Amazed by his behaviour, I swam out again, only to be “rescued” a second time by Sire. Not too long after Sire’s unusual behaviour my husband noticed a current in the river…we all got out!

Sire stayed in our lives for fifteen years, before old age got the better of him. What lessons Sire taught me during those fifteen years! He spoke with his eyes, he protected with his manner, he loved us from deep within his heart.

After my first son was born, when Sire was eight years old, he made it very clear to us that Ben was his responsibility also. We couldn’t have asked for a more attentive baby sitter than Sire.

We are told that we, as humans, are the superior race…but are we really? Perhaps the answer to that question is yes in the majority of instances. But I have to question the use of, or rather lack of use, of our own human intuition.

If we were able to peel back all of the layers of pretence, wrapped around us during the years as we progress through our lives, wouldn’t we discover the same animal instincts, which I so admire in the pets I have had the pleasure of sharing my home with?

We teach our pets the “niceties” expected of them; controlling their natural impulse to lunge at a person in happiness upon seeing them, walking them on the street with the use of a lead as that is what the law requests of us, sit, stay, don’t sniff, don’t bark, on and on it goes.

And then, I’ll be in a room of my house, wondering where my animals have wandered off to, but the wondering doesn’t have to last for long…next moment, they are standing next to me.

Instinct has brought them to me…words are unnecessary. Animals “know”, without any words.

advice · basics · challenges · Changes · father · freedom · inspiration · Mum

What’s Behind the Fear of Parting with “Stuff”?

Joanne4 Comments

Yesterday I spoke about my thoughts on “Adopting the Minimalist Approach”, a subject which I feel quite strongly about for my own life, and although the concept is to “minimise” the material and emotional baggage in our lives, I have reached the conclusion that to minimise is, well, rather a complex subject.

Although we say we want to discard the unwanted material “stuff” in our homes, we don’t always actually take the action to do it…

What is it that we are so afraid of?

Let me tell you about the emotional tug o’ war I experienced myself, just this week, when sorting through the unused clothing hanging in my own wardrobe ~

Tucked away, right at the far end of the hanging rack, I had a long sleeved blouse, a gift from my mother; a short sleeved blouse, a gift from my father, and a knitted beige top, another gift from my father. When these items were newer, I wore them constantly. Each item, in its turn, had once been a much loved article of clothing.

Now, these clothes were yellowing, and smelled “musty”. Why? My mother has been gone nearly seventeen years, and my father, nearly twelve years!

“Who am I kidding”, I asked myself, “by hanging onto these clothes, will it bring my parents back??”

The truth of the matter is, if my parents were able, they would be the first to tell me to get rid of the clothes…and now I have.

What other excuses do we make to ourselves, you know, the self-talk moments we all have, when trying to justify why we can’t let go? ‘I might wear it/need it again one day’ or ‘I’ll fit into it again, when I lose weight’ or even ‘it’ll cost so much to replace it’.

I’m as guilty as the next person, I procrastinate when it comes time for the big clean out. But you know something? Once you start tossing that unwanted stuff into bags or boxes, momentum kicks in…The more you part with, the easier it gets!

Every time I get rid of more stuff, I feel liberated, and lighter. It’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I keep on going back to admire the clean, neat, tidy and emptier cupboards!

Getting rid of unwanted “stuff” fills me with a sense of achievement.

Another gigantic plus to owning less clothing is…a smaller ironing pile! More time away from the ironing board! Now, you can’t complain about that, can you? I’m not! 🙂

Every action we take should be motivated by the question of how this is going to improve our life.

With less clutter in our life ~ we can breathe more easily; it lifts the burden of the “excess weight” of material possessions.

When the clutter has been removed ~ it opens up the “space” around us, both physically and emotionally, making way for fresh, new, wonderful experiences to find us.

When the clothing is minimised ~ we spend less time deciding what to wear (and the ironing pile is smaller! 🙂 )

If you are planning on minimising the “stuff” that is blocking the flow of your life, I encourage you to ask yourself what it is that is holding you back from letting go. And be honest with yourself.

And if all else fails, think about how happy dogs are. All they ask for is food, shelter, love and a kind word. They don’t need any of the “stuff” we humans accumulate, but they are happy.

How about making yourself a little happier too? 🙂

advice · freedom · spiritual

Flicking Off the Labels

Joanne8 Comments

There’s no doubt about it, labels are a necessity of life. Can you imagine your kitchen cupboards, packed to the rafters, with unlabelled jars and canisters of goodness-knows-what?

Imagine mistaking the salt for sugar; your morning cup of coffee would hardly taste appealing with a dose of two teaspoons of salt, not to mention a sprinkling of salt on your cereal!

Hypothetically, if labels were banned en masse, surely our other senses would kick in, particularly our sense of smell. And surely our eyes would train themselves into analysing the appearance of the contents of the jars, rather than merely reading the name written on the label.

Indeed, labels ensure we clean our teeth with a tube of toothpaste, rather than a tube of glue and there is never any danger of mistakenly topping the oil up in our car with a bottle of cordial!

Society as we know it would suffer a tremendous loss, without the use of fashion labels. Imagine, if you will, the dent in the economy without labels on the clothing of the fashion high-flyers. Isn’t it common knowledge that an impressive “name” label, when attached to an item of clothing, increases its value no end?

I have begun to suspect that the populous of the world’s nations have become so engrossed in the utilising of labels that we are under threat of a brand new, world- wide epidemic, namely ~ “Label Overkill”; a disease  which appears to be sweeping across the entire human race.

As it is with all contagious diseases, “Label Overkill” would have had quite simple origins, perhaps just the harmless placing of a label such as “daughter” or “son”. This, in turn, would have produced the likes of other labels; mother, father, husband, wife, auntie, uncle, grandmother, cousin, all extremely harmless in themselves. In fact, aren’t these the very labels we proudly flaunt to the multitudes?

But it doesn’t stop there. Labelling continues with boss, employee, neighbour, acquaintance, friend, foe, boyfriend, girlfriend…

Websites such as My Space and Facebook have a lot to answer for. Such sites are guilty of spreading this epidemic of label overkill. The information page on Facebook requests you choose from the following labels, to describe your situation; single, in a relationship, married, engaged, it’s complicated, widowed and (can you believe this?), in an open relationship. :/

Why isn’t “none of the above” included?  Or “does it matter?” And really, whose business is it anyway? Oh, that’s right, Facebook are doing their “bit” to encourage “label overkill”, further spreading this epidemic.

In the interests of containing this disease I would like to suggest the following three points, as an alternative to labelling people.

  • Upon first meeting a new person, expect the best from them. Whether the meeting is in person, over the telephone, by email, Facebook, Twitter or anywhere on the World Wide Web, assume they will be pleasant and friendly towards you, right from the get-go. What you are expecting is always what you get!
  • Do not, under any circumstances, begin the immediate and endless process of mentally labelling people. Take your observations beyond the necessity of labels; see who the person really is ~ minus any form of labelling.
  • Display yourself to the world as an approachable, open, friendly, easy-to-get-along-with kind of soul, minus the necessity of any self-inflicted labels.

When first meeting a new person and if your two souls make a connection, as time progresses you will gradually learn more about your new friend.

What I find to be one of the most enjoyable aspects of meeting new people in any other manner than the regular “face to face” way is that quite often the personal communication begins long before you even know what the person looks like, therefore the ability to place a mental label upon someone, especially regarding age, race, marital status or looks, is not available to them, or you.

You actually have the opportunity to get to know a person, before any labelling process begins…the first connection being with their soul!

When the inevitable labels begin to appear, what would you have your label say about you? Would you prefer a list of all of your physical attributes, along with who you are to everyone else in your life? Or would your “label” be more of a personal encompassing of “who you really are”, emitting the rays of light and caring from your soul?

I know which one I would prefer. 🙂

challenges · Changes · daughter · freedom · gratitude

Miss Seventeen

Joanne12 Comments

Yesterday, I had a complaint about my website.

“How come you always say something about “Master Twelve”? What about me? Why don’t you ever talk about me?” bemoaned my youngest daughter, Miss Seventeen.

“You’re hardly ever at home these days”, I replied.

And it’s true. I see my youngest girl for fleeting moments, as she dashes home, to change clothes, leave her dirty washing, and then she’s off again.

What can I say about her? Remember Maria, the nun, in the movie “The Sound of Music”?  Maria’s personality reminds me so much of my daughter.

“How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!”

How, exactly, do you catch a cloud and pin it down?  For many years, I tried, and upon realising the futility of my trying, I stopped. Take it from me; if you should ever feel the urge to try ~ don’t bother. You simply cannot pin a cloud down.

All in the name of trying my hardest to be a responsible mother, in years gone by I have advised, cajoled, pleaded, demanded and coaxed this girl to become, well, something that perhaps she is not.  And did she ever listen? Not on your life!

“Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?”

It’s not really that she doesn’t want to listen, it’s just that she has so many other interesting places to go, fascinating people to meet, rivers to cross and mountains to climb!

Again, in the name of being a responsible mother, I set my daughter free. And oh my, the lessons she has learned…

Here I can talk about the wonderful human being that my beautiful daughter has become. She always has been a beautiful person, and by setting her free and allowing her the freedom to spread her wings, she has become more of what she already was.

This is the girl with the amazing smile and the sparkling eyes. She is approachable and friendly, to people of all ages. Easy to talk to, a problem solver and shoulder to cry on for her friends, her loyalty to them has no boundaries. Befriend her and return her loyalty and you have a friend for life. She’ll walk over hot coals for you. Stifle her, try to tell her what to do, or lie to her and she’ll drop you like a hot potato. Your name will be forgotten in an instant.

“When I’m with her I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!”

There are days when I convince myself that she has forgotten she even has a mother. Next thing, she’s arriving home with a “special treat” for us to share, perhaps a creamy cake, block of chocolate or marshmallow biscuits. While I make us both coffee, she sets up her treat for us on a pretty plate and off we go to my quiet room, where she tells me everything I always wanted to know (and didn’t want to know!) about what she’s been up to of late.

Without warning, her phone will ring, and my flibbertijibbet is off again, engrossed in yet another highly animated telephone conversation.

She trusts too easily and has fallen hard when a friend has let her down. And the school of hard knocks has taught her many lessons. She is stronger and more resilient and at times shows wisdom beyond her years. And it’s all due to my daughter living the life she has chosen ~ the no holds barred freedom of learning by making her own mistakes and wearing her heart on her sleeve.

“She’d out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!”

This year my daughter is in her final year of school and on the back of her senior school jersey is the word “Angel”, and yes, she is an angel, and she is also my wild child. She is gentle, and a party animal, she enjoys quiet time to herself, but talks nonstop to anyone within hearing shot. She certainly is a riddle and never boring.

I have lost count of the number of boy’s hearts she has broken, and she has cried rivers and nursed her own broken heart, but only once. It takes a very special boy to win my daughter’s heart and it is no longer the fragile, delicate little heart it once was.

“Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?”

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? I don’t want to. My moonbeam has become far more bright and sparkly, since letting her out of my hand. And every once in a while, my moonbeam comes home to me and smiles her sparkly smile, and gives me her ever so special moonbeam hug, she sings her happy moonbeam song whilst dancing her crazy moonbeam dance.

And she makes my heart dance and sing, just as she has since the day she was born.

Footnote ~ As I write this, my free spirited girl is already two hours later home than she said she would be, (Mum, you know I don’t wear a watch!). In the morning she will have no end of trouble waking herself up to go to school, (you know I don’t do mornings, Mum) and when I try to coax her into eating breakfast, she won’t (you know I don’t like cereal, Mum!)

How, exactly, do you solve a problem like Maria?

advice · freedom · gratitude · happiness · inspiration

A Sumptuously Sunny Sunday

Joanne3 Comments

The warm winter sun has promised yet another deliciously delectable day. The birds are chirping their happy little morning tunes while the trees are luxuriating in a gently blowing breeze.

No more appropriate words could describe the day. It’s just another Sumptuously Sunny Sunday!

And what words spring to your mind at the mere mention of the word Sunday?

Rest, recreation, relaxation.

Family, frolicking, fanciful.

Carefree, casual, children.

How will I spend my day? Maybe I will read for a while, after I have completed a few rows of knitting. I will drink coffee, whilst reading and knitting.

A drive to the beach would be nice. I’ll see if anyone wants to take the trip with me. Maybe we’ll go to the beach with the lighthouse.

During the afternoon, I could bake a cake. I’ll choose one that the whole family enjoys.

We’ll have something nice for dinner tonight, maybe roast meat, with roasted vegetables and crispy potatoes.

I’ll look through my dessert recipes and make something special for us all.

Master twelve’s winter holidays will be over this week. He goes back to school on Tuesday and will enjoy a family day.

Take my advise; help yourself, whenever possible, to your very own Sumptuously Sunny Sunday. 🙂

SUNDAY

S ometimes, every once in a while,

U (you) just have to have a day to yourself, a day when you

N eed to relax; to be selfish, a day to do exactly what you want to do. A

D ay for you! And when the sun sets on your day, when you have allowed yourself this break,

A nd you remember the challenges awaiting you in the week ahead,

Y ou will be feeling relaxed, confident and ready to take on the world!