A Sense of Spirit · authenticity · gardening · gratitude · photography · remembering · spirituality

My Year in Review, Through Authentic Eyes.

December 31, 2014December 31, 2014 Joanne14 Comments

A continuing joy to my every day is the visit from my feathered friends.

Deja vu closely followed the thought, “It doesn’t seem that long ago since I last decorated the house for Christmas”. I thought the exactly same thing, whilst decorating the house during December 2013. Where has the year gone?

In May, this tree flowered profusely, to the delight of both myself, and the Rainbow Lorikeets.

And now, it’s the last day of 2014, and as I ponder whether 2014 has been either a good year or bad, I realise that, for me, it has been a year of learning. Everything has happened for a reason. And I haven’t resisted the changes that have occurred, realising that I am in the right place, at the right time, and everything happens just as it should, when it is ready to happen. The way it is meant to be.

I love taking photos in the rain, the moody light adds so much warmth to the photos.

I re-read my first post of this year, remembering, as I have continually remembered throughout 2014, my chosen word for this year ~ “Authentic”.

I have planted a lot of old-fashioned hydrangeas in the garden this year.

We are old friends now, this word and I. At the beginning of the year, I felt their presence constantly. We had to get to know each other; we were virtual strangers, passing each other throughout my life thus far like ships in the night.

Cockatoos visited my garden on the morning of my birthday in May, when my dear friend, Keith, was visiting Australia and staying with me and my family for a few days.

Oh how I had wished to jump on board that ship! My authentically beautiful friend must have known the feelings and longings of my heart, as this year, they did not give up on the hopeless cause of this mere human, filled with faults and uncertainties. No, this year, when the ship of authenticity drew up beside me, and threw out a life-boat, with just a molecule of trepidation, I dragged myself into the calming warmth of their being. And how quickly we noticed the way we could co-exist, half way between my physical life and the true soul of my inner being.

I have decided that Allamandas are the single most photogenic flowers in my garden.

In contemplating a new word for 2015, I feel myself continually pulled toward my Authentic self, not wishing to leave this relatively new friend behind, as I venture into another year on earth. And whilst I know that my Authenticity will continue into tomorrow, and all the other tomorrow’s that in my life I will enjoy, next year will see a progression of my new-found contentment. What that word will be, as yet, I do not know. My word is still searching for me. Authenticity is screening every word that crosses my path, so when my word arrives, I can feel assured that the right extension of this year has found me.

When I added a hanging basket to the back veranda, a Noisy Minor thought the basket insert would be just the thing to add comfort to her nest.

As I cast my mind back over this year, the day before it changes its status to “last year”, my first thoughts are of Tess. Her gentle canine soul has warmed my heart during so many moments this year. I still feel the sting of tears when I remember her physical presence is gone, even though my Black Velvet girl sits beside me as I remember her love and loyalty.

My Begonia sits in a pot on the front veranda, and amazes me every year, as I watch the brown soil shoot new green growth into the world! — My Begonia sits in a pot on the front veranda, and amazes me every year, as I watch the brown soil shoot new green growth into the world…and further, produce the most brilliant flowers!

I know with every ounce of love in my heart that when my next fury friend is ready to find me, she will. But she isn’t ready to come to me yet, and I believe there is a reason why this is so. This year, in September, my son Adam brought home his girl, Forrest, and whilst I love this baby girl dearly, I know she is not for me. She is a loan-puppy, just the same as Porter and Bella, who moved back home with their “parents” in August. They will be leaving again when their new home is built, and the “family of five”, which includes the gorgeous Sammy cat, will settle into their own little spot of Paradise.

Tess has her own garden now, in a shady area beside the pool. I planted a Fushsia in Tess's Garden a few months ago, hoping it would be happy there, and as you can see, it is. — Tess has her own garden now, in a shady area beside the pool. I planted a Fuchsia in Tess’s Garden a few months ago, hoping it would be happy there, and as you can see, it is.

A part of my Authentic year has kept me away from blogging. My Muse completely disappeared for a while there, although for the first time, I have consistently kept a daily diary, the old-fashioned, hand-written kind, recording events of the day, both mundane and significant. A personal record of my year, which I will continue into 2015.

Father & Son ~ The mottled Magpie is one of three baby birds I had the pleasure of hand feeding during this year.

My Muse has pulled up the most comfortable chair right now, and is making themselves feel right at home on my right shoulder, (Tess is to my left,) sharing the words and feelings that have often escaped me during this year. Will they remain? Will 2015 be The Year of The Muse? Only time will tell.

During May, I helped my son, Ben, renovate his investment unit. The Tweed River runs behind the block of units where I found a peaceful and welcome oasis from the chores.

Dear friends, as I feel my way into a New Year, I will share a small verse that I discovered the other day. The words struck a chord of love for me, as in spending the last year being true to myself, my feelings, my thoughts and desires, I have also learned to accept the flaws in myself, as well as in others. Mostly in others. Authenticity has invited acceptance into my world, acceptance of both people and events. Furthermore, a knowing that I create my own happiness, my own contentment, my own world. And so do you.

Another new plant in Tess's Garden, a sweetly fragranced Gardenia. — Another new plant in Tess’s Garden, a sweetly fragranced Gardenia.

This is ME….
I am not perfect
I live on the planet Earth where humans live
Humans are not perfect
Never have been, Never will be
So I don’t always wear the right clothes
I don’t always use the right shoes
My memory sometimes fails me
I don’t look like a fashion model
I don’t cook like a French chef
I don’t always do what people expect of me
I am human, I am IMPERFECT
But there is no one else like me in this whole wide world
I am unique, I am a MIRACLE
I am what I am
Nothing more, Nothing less
So therefore; Love me for what I am
Not for what you want me to be!
~Yvve Berglund~

Our pets live their lives true to Authenticity ~ we can learn so much from them, and they accept us, just as we are. :) — Our pets live their lives true to Authenticity ~ we can learn so much from them, including acceptance. 🙂

autumn · basics · gardening · photography

Watching the Grass Grow.

April 2, 2014 Joanne5 Comments

“Miss the simple pleasures like a friendly hello, an unexpected smile, really looking into someone’s eyes when speaking, random acts of kindness, and days doing nothing but lying on a blanket in the grass watching the clouds roll on by.” ~ Rita Said.

Even though the summer sun inferno burnt brown patches throughout our lawn during the last few months, a whole lot of grass patches have shot up recently, probably on account of the cooler weather, then the rain, followed by more sunshine.

Of course it is all weed, full of seeds to grow even more weeds, and this weekend will become the victim of our lawn mower, but in the meantime, doesn’t it look pretty?

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” ~ Henry Miller

Australia · autumn · Changes · gardening

April.

April 1, 2014 Joanne8 Comments

“April came along like a blessing, and if it were a fine April it was so beautiful that it was impossible not to feel different, not to feel stirred and touched.” ~ From “The Enchanted April”, by Elizabeth Von Arnim.

Without meaning to let it happen, the month of March has passed me by without my adding a single post. I checked back to March of last year ~ it was the same ~ post-less. I seem to have formed a habit.

This summer has been hotter than usual. I know I spend every summer muttering under my breath about my intolerance to hot weather, but this summer, I wasn’t the only one. It wasn’t just hot weather, it was humid. And sticky. And sweaty. And dry. Not pleasant at all.

Now, I think the months of extreme discomfort may finally be behind us for another few months. The rain finally arrived in such abundance that our nearby river was on flood warning one day last week. But that’s okay. We needed the rain. The ground needed the moisture. Even the weeds were dying from the heat, not a bad thing when you think about it, but I lost some of my plants too.

Between showers of rain last week, I started gardening again. We are extending an existing garden, which I call “Tess’s Garden”. It’s where our beautiful dog Tess was laid to rest in January, and I have planted “her” Azalea on her grave. The garden isn’t finished yet, but when it is I will show you the finished area. In my mind’s eye, I see a beautiful and relaxing area and it is beginning to take shape, now we can venture out into the garden again.

Early morning is the most delightful time of day right now! The air is so cool on my bare arms, the mist swirls around the mountains in the valley and often it is thick in my garden too, before the sun rises and melts it away.

Frangipani’s must love this kind of weather. The branches are still covered with leaves, when usually by this time of year they are all but bare. The rain last week knocked many of the last of the flowers to the ground. It looks so pretty though, seeing the dainty flowers on the ground. Whilst many other plants in the garden give up in the extreme heat, the frangipani’s thrive.

Every afternoon for the last week I have had a visit from a pair of Eastern Rosella’s, right near the front door. They love the flowers of the Grevillea tree, an Australian native, but they are so timid and it has been a challenge to sneak outside the front door without disturbing them! After a few attempts I finally managed to make it to the veranda and take a few photos before they took fright and flew away. As you can see, they are incredibly colourful. I have plans to plant more natives in the garden. I love to see the birds they attract.

You know that I always have a helper in the garden too, right? Little Miss Tibbs loves the garden too and really appreciates the watering can being filled to the top!

If I’m not mistaken, this is the time of year when the whole world rejoices at the change in weather. Here, we are loving the cool air, whilst in the northern hemisphere everyone is heaving a collective sigh of relief as they watch the snow melting and the green buds beginning to grow on the trees.

All is well with the world as April begins. 🙂

A Sense of Spirit · birthdays · gardening · Mum · sisters

My Sister’s Garden

August 30, 2013 Joanne8 Comments

On the morning of Monday, the 30th of August, 1993, I dropped my son off at school, saw my daughter into her pre school-class and with my nine month old baby I visited my mother for the last time. Mum had lapsed into a coma on the Saturday afternoon so we knew the end was near. Up to that particular morning, before leaving my mother’s bedside I could only say to her “see you later”. The thought of never seeing her again terrified me. On this day, twenty years ago today, before leaving her room I noticed a pulse beating in her neck, she was still alive. Then I said the words I had feared ~ “Goodbye Mum”, yet the words came easily; it was time for me to let her go. Later I was told that a nurse saw me leave the room. She went in to check on my mum ~ she had gone.

Today, as I think of my mother, the angel and guide of my life for the past twenty years, I would love to take you all for a walk with me around the beautiful garden of another very important woman in my life, one who also lost a part of her own soul twenty years ago today, my sister, Vivien.

“Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . . ” ~ Memory from the Musical “Cats”, one of Mum’s favourite songs.

Cows across the road from Vivi's home. Such a beautiful view from her front door. — Cows across the road from Vivi’s home, grazing by the river. Such a beautiful view from her front door.

Having three sisters, all of whom were substantially older than me, may have robbed me of the fun times as a child of having sister’s for playmates, but the blessing it gave me was the joy of having three extra “mothers”.

Vivi is my closest sister in age, she is twelve years older than me, and it was Vivi who mothered me the most throughout the years when I was growing up. We even went through a stage when she spent a considerable amount of time yelling at me, as I rebelled against her when I was a teenager! Now that’s real love…. 🙂

....we can read a story together. — ….we can read a story together.

My own children adore their auntie. My youngest son Adam said to me recently “there’s nothing to not like about Auntie Vivi”, and I totally agree with him, she’s just wonderful.

A very pretty bird, one which I don't see at my place. — A very pretty bird, one which I don’t see at my place.

If my sister lived closer I would definitely see her more often. Vivi lives six hours drive south of me, so when Adam and I took our trip down south in late June I planned it so that we would be at Vivi’s place to help her celebrate her birthday this year.

This is a bird that stays put in Vivi's garden. — This is a bird that stays put in Vivi’s garden.

One of Vivi’s sons, his wife and two children came around for dinner. Vivi had asked for take-away Chinese food, which she doesn’t have very often, for her birthday meal so she wouldn’t have to cook on her birthday, so that’s what we had.

Vivi is a fantastic cook and can throw together a delicious meal in no time at all! As a child I loved sleep-overs at Vivi’s home as her meals were yummy, her beds were always soft and comfy and we did fun things together, like cooking and going shopping.

During another visit to my sister’s home just over two years ago, her grandson told me about all the fun things he and his grandma do together when he visits her. It was like deja vu for me to hear him speak. “I used to do those things with your grandma when I was a little girl too!” I told him. I’m not sure that he could quite grasp the concept of the age difference between me and Vivi though, and why I was a child when she was an adult!

Every garden needs at least one bird bath.

The day I took these photos it was raining although the dampness did not put a dampener on the calm atmosphere in the garden, if anything the duller natural light and the raindrops created an even more ambient atmosphere. I can imagine how beautiful it must be on a sunny day. These photos were taken on a wet, midwinter’s day.

Vivi isn't a huge cat lover, so instead of Puss in Boots" she has "Frogs in Boots". — Vivi isn’t a huge cat lover, so instead of “Puss in Boots” she has “Frogs in Boots”.

I am definitely pleased with the photos I took that day and I just love the whimsical ornaments Vivi has in her garden. Vivi and her husband have lived in this home for around nineteen years now, the same length of time I have lived in my home, but I remember her previous home in the Blue Mountains which had a full-sized wishing well in the front garden. It was magical.

No chance of this slow moving guy getting too far away!

Our mum loved her garden and preferred large, brightly coloured flowers to the dainty, paler variety. Anything unusual caught her eye and she was very fond of cactus plants and succulents. One of her favourite plants was her Zygocactus and I was thrilled to see Vivi had one in a hanging basket in her garden. They are not a particular favourite of mine, although I think I should get one. They bring back wonderful memories of the excitement my mum showed when her Zygocactus flowered.

One of Mum's favourite plants, Zygocactus. — One of Mum’s favourite plants, Zygocactus. And the bird in the small cage is an ornament!

Vivi loves frogs! She has quite a few in her home and around her garden, ornaments that is. I made her a cross stitch of three frogs in lily pads a few years ago. It took me ages to finish but it was well worth the effort as it looked fantastic when finished and framed.

Frog art in Vivi's garden. — Frog art in Vivi’s garden.

Before the night of Vivi’s birthday was over, Vivi’s grand-daughter asked if we would like a photo taken together. Jess is a lovely girl, and at age nineteen she speaks with Vivi as if she were her friend and not her grandmother. Vivi’s eldest son and family couldn’t make it for her birthday, he has three children, two sons and a gorgeous little daughter. I hope someday I have the same close bond with my grandchildren.

Mum wasn’t overly fussed on the colour pink, she preferred yellow, but I’m still going to show you Vivi’s pretty pink Azaleas, and I will leave you with another verse of “Memories” from Cats, a song that my mum loved. I know she remembers, I know she loves us, I feel her with us; it seems like only yesterday I heard her laughter, felt her hands, combed her hair. How can it possibly be twenty years…..

“Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again…..”

I love you for Eternity Mum. xxxxxx

Australia · Changes · gardening · happiness · new beginnings

Allowing the Magic to Happen

August 29, 2013 Joanne12 Comments

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Lao Tzu.

The days have flowed naturally forward for me this past month, in fact they have flowed with so much ease that I am wondering where the last month has disappeared to. It’s not a complaint, but more of a learning process than anything. I’m actually having difficulty in finding the words here to describe how I feel.

Resistance is subsiding. I would love to be able to declare that resistance has disappeared from my life completely, but there are still occasions when I will bristle slightly, catch myself and tell myself all is well. I have learnt how to calm any adverse feelings very quickly.

I’ll be the first to admit that the recent anesthetic I had for a small hospital procedure has played its part. For two weeks I floated through each day with my feelings wrapped in cotton wool. Without the thought stresses of everyday living my household chores were completed with ease, a raised voice didn’t bring any feelings of tension, so my world just wafted along on the late winter breezes.

In realising that my anxieties over any given situation would neither make nor break the outcome I could see the benefit in letting go, giving up resistance, staying calm, letting what will be ~ be. I would even go as far as saying that my calmness may have even neutralised situations where other family members were involved.

During my time of still being under the peaceful spell of an anesthetic I made the choice to continue this gentle life after the chemical cushioning had left me, to allow the magic of life to just happen.

Situations are what they are, people do not change unless they choose to do so themselves, the world continues to spin, night becomes day and day becomes night again. The sun continues to rise, the tides ebb and flow. Birds build their nests and look out for juicy worms to catch. A baby is born, someone loses a loved one. And these events will continue, day after day, whether I am stressing, or not.

This must be why there are people who become hooked on drugs or alcohol, I contemplate. When the cushioning is felt, it’s a feeling you want to have stay around forever. How sad it is though, when the addicts don’t realise that chemical substances will wear off, needing to be replaced time and time again. I wish for those people that they eventually can find the magic within themselves, without the chemicals.

Life experience has brought me to the place where I’m now at. The difficulties of life are our greatest teachers. If you have read my last two posts, you will know what I’m talking about, how resistance can take us to an unhappy place. Talking, honestly, the kind of talk in which we wear our heart on our sleeve to our loved ones is a great remedy.

Imaging the worst case scenario, which I did before my bliss-giving anesthetic, only to learn that there was nothing wrong with me in the first place was a real eye opener for me. Worry didn’t change the reality of the situation, but worry may, and probably would have, caused a major health issue. Who needs that?

We will always experience human feelings so long as we are alive. Joy, pain, happiness, sadness, we want to feel emotions, but what is worry, is it even a real emotion? I know it can be destructive, so I am working towards banishing it from my life completely. I hope you can do the same. Show worry, resistance and stress out the door; flow with the tides of life, accept and enjoy what is.

These beautiful kookaburras who came to my garden when we were digging around in the earth, waiting patiently for a worm or some other grub to show itself for them to swoop down and enjoy for their dinner don’t seem to have a care in the world. We have so much to learn from animals and birds. They stay calm, remain patient, don’t complain about the sun or the rain, cold or heat, and they don’t hold any grudges against that dratted bird next to them who catches the worm before they do!

We have the choice, we can choose to put our busy minds into neutral and allow the magic to happen. It takes practise, but it can be done. How cool is that? 🙂