Tag: advice

advice · challenges · Changes · freedom · inspiration

When Freedom Begins.

Joanne7 Comments
A quiet bay, my kind of beach. Note to Self ~ I must spend more time visiting the beach.
A quiet bay, my kind of beach. Note to Self ~ I must spend more time visiting the beach.

Some of the most memorable conversations I have are brief, and with total strangers.

During the past week I had a phone call from a woman who identified herself as Marina, from a magazine I have subscribed to for the last ten years.

“What a lovely name you have”, I told Marina, to which she exclaimed, “I’ve asked my mother what was she thinking, naming me after a place where boats were kept!” And so our conversation began.

You may remember last year, (when my sewing shelves were much tidier than they are now!) I received a brand new wooden sewing box in the mail, along with other goodies that I had ordered over the phone from this same magazine company. Well, it is that time of year again, when they tempt me, the sewing and craft lover, with no end of fabulous paraphernalia, in an effort to have me part company with some cash.

I have to tell you, this is cash that I am happy to part with! They offer tremendous deals and as their offerings are purchased sight-unseen, when the boxes arrive in the mail it is like opening up a whole array of exciting Christmas presents!

But back to Marina. When I spoke to her, her manner reminded me of that of my daughter Emma, honest, friendly and easy to talk to, and whilst very good at her job, she loves a chat with the customers too.

She told me that she wondered what I would be finding to make with all of my new fabrics and threads when they arrived and I assured her that I had plenty of craft magazines on hand to give me inspiration.

I went on to tell Marina that it was only within the last year that I had returned to my love of craft and sewing for fun, that my priority of being a mother for so many years had meant my own interests had taken a back seat.

“It’s so good to know that there will come a time when I will get my “me time” back again!” Marina said, as she explained that she found being a mother was both demanding and time-consuming.

Whilst I wouldn’t have changed my last twenty-eight years of living in the Land of Motherdom, I must admit to feeling relieved that my children are now almost all independent of my motherly care and their dependence on my time is diminishing.

My brief conversation with Marina reminded me of those days, so long ago yet they seem like only yesterday, when my children were young. I recalled their sweet young faces and innocent ways, noticing my feelings erring towards accepted nostalgia rather than sadness of a time long gone.

When Marina told me that she was looking forward to her freedom I advised her to enjoy the days with her young children rather than wishing her life away; she told me she’d try.

Occasionally I have thought of my conversation with Marina a few days ago and it has helped me to realise that I am contented with the place I have reached in my life. The days when I look into the mirror and wonder who that person with the older face is are diminishing. She has earned the lines on her face, the greying hair and the skin that is beginning to age and sag. These are the signs of a life well lived.

As my conversation with Marina drew to a close she gave me her direct phone number to contact her, should I have any questions at any time, she would be there most days until six in the evening, she said. What a long day that is, no wonder Marina had no free time to herself for her own enjoyment!

This morning I came across a quote which reminded me of Marina. I get the impression that she may be a fun and quirky woman, however short of time she may be feeling. It is also a reminder to myself, a reminder of what true freedom really is ~

“Freedom begins in the moment you allow yourself to be you; the you that is fun and silly, quirky and different, unique and splendid, funky and kooky.

Hide not the parts of you, the expression of which fills you with joy and rapture, beauty and contentment, humanity and aliveness. It is by revealing those aspects that you radiate to the world the shining light you are and that we all yearn to see. “ ~ Robert Beno.

I’ve reached a place in my life where I am far more comfortable with revealing the real me, albeit with wrinkles! 🙂

daughter · Mum

Being Authentically “You”

Joanne4 Comments

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”. ~  Sir Walter Scott (1808)

When my eldest daughter told me that she had realised she was copying me, when making choices for her own life and had stopped doing so as she wanted be authentically herself, I couldn’t have been happier.

I asked her whatever had possessed her to want to copy me in the first place, and she told me simply, “Because I love you, I guess”.

There is an old saying that ‘imitation is the highest form of flattery’, but how much imitation is too much?

Think about it carefully. Do you really want the responsibility of knowing that there is someone out there, who is not truly being themselves, because they are imitating you?

Or would you be content to spend your own life living as another person would have you live it?

An innocent act of admiration for someone in your life can lead to a web of deception, a web that you may not even realise that you have got yourself caught up in, until one day you wake up to the fact that the person who is living your life, isn’t really you.

I know this to be true, as I’ve lived the “lie”, albeit an innocent lie, but none the less destructive.

Throughout the month of March, the theme at the Calm Space was “change” and I submitted my article to Karen rather timidly, with the content being so personal.

There were two deciding factors on why I finally decided to allow Karen to publish what I had written. One – Karen told me she loved the article (and it always helps to know the Editor is happy!)

My second deciding factor was that I realised that someone who reads my story may actually learn something, and benefit from the mistakes I have made.

My message is an important one. I do hope you will read my article at the Calm Space, “Living the Richest of Lives”.

“Your experiences are not limited to what you have created in the past”. ~ Gary Zukav

friends · knowledge

Pondering the Unanswerable

Joanne2 Comments

“Questions are guaranteed in life; answers aren’t”.

Why is it that I can write a post perfectly in my mind, when access to pen and paper or computer is impossible, yet I will sit, hours later, in front of the computer screen and the words escape me?

Gone. No clues remaining. Not even a hint of those fly-away words.

And why are there periods of time in my life when I’m completely solid and unswayable on a subject, yet at other times I fuss and bother over “nothing” questions?

Perhaps it’s all the fault of my Libran personality. Librans are said to be just a tad (ha!) indecisive.

But wait, I’m not even a Libran! I’m Taurus! Taurus, with Libra moon and Libra ascendant.

If I were a totally, fully-fledged Taurus, I’d know, with total, absolute certainty, the answers to all of the so-called unanswerable questions. ‘Coz Taureans are unwavering and determined.

Aren’t they?

Which leads me to another question; why do I, the Taurus, find myself most compatible with Sagittarius personalities? And Aries?

Why have I spent my entire life being drawn to Virgo men, who annoy the life out of me with their finicky, perfectionist ways?

When I spend too much time at home, I can go stir-crazy, so I spend time out…and miss spending time at home. The weather is hot, so I wish it were cold again. After a few months of cold, I miss the warmth. But only sometimes!

Is everyone this indecisive? Do we all long for the opposite to what we have?

Are we ever satisfied with our lot in life? Does everyone ask these questions?

Some questions are so profound, they hurt. Questions such as why are there unsuspecting people in the world today, who are suffering due to the effects of an earth quake? Why them? What did they ever do to deserve this?

There are no answers to these questions that I’m aware of.

So, I avoid asking the questions. They’re too painful and serve no purpose to a single soul, either to the questioner or to those suffering.

There once was a time, a number of years ago now, when I had thought that helping another human being meant everything. Being only one person myself, I knew that help on a grand scale would be impossible for me to achieve, therefore setting my sights on helping those closest to me, in their times of need.

Little did I know back then that I was on the verge on learning one of life’s biggest lessons.

During a traumatic time of a friend’s life, one of unimaginable pain and heartbreak, I attempted to offer assistance, to smooth the road to recovery for a period of time by taking care of all of the mundane aspects of their life; the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, shopping; whilst she focussed all of her energy on recuperating from the upheaval which was present in her life.

Day after day she slept, while I took care of her life.

After two weeks of seeing not a single sign of progress, not a hint of resurrection to her own life, I sought help myself, in the form of a psychologist.

I asked the question, “Why won’t my friend at least attempt to help herself? I’ve taken all of her life’s mundane chores over myself, thinking it would help, but she’s making no progress at all. She sleeps all day, every day”.

The answer to my question was not what I had expected, nor was I prepared for. The psychologist, in his infinite wisdom, told me to stop helping. He told me to leave my friend to her own devises. He told me to turn my back and walk away!

Walking away was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. But after he explained to me why she wasn’t making any progress, I knew I had to. For her sake.

While I attended to all of my friend’s chores, she had no need to get up off her butt and take care of her own family, so she didn’t! When the help no longer existed, she was forced into action!

Not helping my friend was the kindest thing I could do for her.

What I have learned is that the questions will always exist, no matter what. Some questions have appropriate answers, some don’t. And some of the answers are not necessarily the answers we wish to hear.

There are times when questions can frustrate. And other times when we wish to help, but it’s impossible to do so. And no one can explain to us why.

It’s at these times that sending a prayer (if we are so inclined), or kind thoughts of well being to those in need, is the best help we can offer. So, that’s what we do. It all helps, somehow. Don’t ask why…

 

 

advice · gratitude · happiness

Live the Life of Your Own Creation

JoanneLeave a comment

“All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good and out of this situation only good will come. I am safe.” ~ Affirmation, Louise L. Hay.

Back in June of last year, whilst a guest writer at the Calm Space, I wrote an article entitled “The Wondrous Power of Our Thoughts”.

During January and February, the lovely Káren, editor of the Calm Space, is re-running some of her favourite articles from the past three years and she has given me the honour of again sharing one of my articles.

Thank you so much, Káren! 🙂

The topic of the power of our mind is one that I am rather passionate about. I truly believe that we all actually have control over our lives, through our own thoughts.

If my health fails, I ask myself what is bothering me.

If circumstances in my life are not as I wish them to be, I re-run my thought process of the preceding days.

More and more, I rely on the Universe and my own instincts to guide me through every day.

Why not try it for yourself? Follow your instincts and listen to your heart. Go with the flow and follow whatever journey you find your life leading you towards.

Believe in the strength of the power of intention and suggestion. Allow affirmations to guide you and show gratitude for the miracles you encounter along the way.

Have faith in yourself, believe that your own intuition will guide you towards the right path in life, the one that is just right for you and pay attention to the wonders that will unfold before your eyes.

When learning to mould your life through your own choice and intentions, some changes will become evident immediately, whilst other changes may take a little more time.

Be patient, while “The Wondrous Power of Our Thoughts” weaves its magic into your life.

advice · challenges

Persistence ~ I Can Do It!

Joanne2 Comments

After spending hours trying to work out some glitches, here on my website, I am now tired, frazzled and frayed around the edges.

My lack of computer expertise is not helping my cause any.

What I think looks right, isn’t; and what I imagine isn’t right, so often is!

Before trying to wind down my mind for the night I decided a few words of inspiration were in order. There’s nothing worse than trying to sleep, with a mind still attempting to fix up website glitches!

High up on one of the top shelves of my book case, I caught sight of the words “You Can Do It”, running down the spine of an old, musty book.

Inside the stale yellowing pages I have found the following anonymously written words, under a very relevant title…

Persistence

“Nothing in the world can take

the place of persistence.

Talent will not : nothing is more

common than men with talent.

Genius will not : unrewarded

genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not : the world

is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination

alone are omnipotent”.

Okay, so I have persistence and determination. I’ll do it.

Tomorrow…. 🙂