friends · knowledge

Pondering the Unanswerable

“Questions are guaranteed in life; answers aren’t”.

Why is it that I can write a post perfectly in my mind, when access to pen and paper or computer is impossible, yet I will sit, hours later, in front of the computer screen and the words escape me?

Gone. No clues remaining. Not even a hint of those fly-away words.

And why are there periods of time in my life when I’m completely solid and unswayable on a subject, yet at other times I fuss and bother over “nothing” questions?

Perhaps it’s all the fault of my Libran personality. Librans are said to be just a tad (ha!) indecisive.

But wait, I’m not even a Libran! I’m Taurus! Taurus, with Libra moon and Libra ascendant.

If I were a totally, fully-fledged Taurus, I’d know, with total, absolute certainty, the answers to all of the so-called unanswerable questions. ‘Coz Taureans are unwavering and determined.

Aren’t they?

Which leads me to another question; why do I, the Taurus, find myself most compatible with Sagittarius personalities? And Aries?

Why have I spent my entire life being drawn to Virgo men, who annoy the life out of me with their finicky, perfectionist ways?

When I spend too much time at home, I can go stir-crazy, so I spend time out…and miss spending time at home. The weather is hot, so I wish it were cold again. After a few months of cold, I miss the warmth. But only sometimes!

Is everyone this indecisive? Do we all long for the opposite to what we have?

Are we ever satisfied with our lot in life? Does everyone ask these questions?

Some questions are so profound, they hurt. Questions such as why are there unsuspecting people in the world today, who are suffering due to the effects of an earth quake? Why them? What did they ever do to deserve this?

There are no answers to these questions that I’m aware of.

So, I avoid asking the questions. They’re too painful and serve no purpose to a single soul, either to the questioner or to those suffering.

There once was a time, a number of years ago now, when I had thought that helping another human being meant everything. Being only one person myself, I knew that help on a grand scale would be impossible for me to achieve, therefore setting my sights on helping those closest to me, in their times of need.

Little did I know back then that I was on the verge on learning one of life’s biggest lessons.

During a traumatic time of a friend’s life, one of unimaginable pain and heartbreak, I attempted to offer assistance, to smooth the road to recovery for a period of time by taking care of all of the mundane aspects of their life; the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, shopping; whilst she focussed all of her energy on recuperating from the upheaval which was present in her life.

Day after day she slept, while I took care of her life.

After two weeks of seeing not a single sign of progress, not a hint of resurrection to her own life, I sought help myself, in the form of a psychologist.

I asked the question, “Why won’t my friend at least attempt to help herself? I’ve taken all of her life’s mundane chores over myself, thinking it would help, but she’s making no progress at all. She sleeps all day, every day”.

The answer to my question was not what I had expected, nor was I prepared for. The psychologist, in his infinite wisdom, told me to stop helping. He told me to leave my friend to her own devises. He told me to turn my back and walk away!

Walking away was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. But after he explained to me why she wasn’t making any progress, I knew I had to. For her sake.

While I attended to all of my friend’s chores, she had no need to get up off her butt and take care of her own family, so she didn’t! When the help no longer existed, she was forced into action!

Not helping my friend was the kindest thing I could do for her.

What I have learned is that the questions will always exist, no matter what. Some questions have appropriate answers, some don’t. And some of the answers are not necessarily the answers we wish to hear.

There are times when questions can frustrate. And other times when we wish to help, but it’s impossible to do so. And no one can explain to us why.

It’s at these times that sending a prayer (if we are so inclined), or kind thoughts of well being to those in need, is the best help we can offer. So, that’s what we do. It all helps, somehow. Don’t ask why…



2 thoughts on “Pondering the Unanswerable

  1. Wonderful post, Joanne.

    I’ve found that often the questions just lead to more questions. Perhaps it’s like the journey and the destination. It’s not about the answers (the destination) so much as it is about at least asking the questions (the journey).


    1. Ah Robin, you’re still thinking of journeys, even now you’re home again from yours! 🙂
      Many questions are hypothetical really, but they still need to be asked. I agree with you totally; it’s all part of the journey.


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