Tag: freedom

advice · basics · freedom · inspiration

Freely Writing a Plan of Action

Joanne1 Comment

Personal freedom is something I hold very dear to my heart, possibly due…no; make that probably, due to the lack thereof I have occasionally experienced throughout my life.

But then, isn’t that the way life is? Upon experiencing what it is you don’t want, what do want becomes blatantly obvious!

At my very own “Freedom Space” this month, over at The Calm Space I share my thoughts on taking appropriate actions in your life’s journey.

So why not head on over there now and say hi to the wonderful Káren Wallace while you’re there? Feel free to explore some of the other amazing articles in Káren’s online magazine. You can come back over here, to thank me for steering you in her direction, later. 😉

Oh, and don’t forget to breathe! Deep breaths…

I know, it sounds crazy, but someone just reminded me to keep the blood circulating by taking some big, deep breaths of cleansing air, and you know what? I feel much better for it!

Whatever it takes, to keep you in a tranquil, calm space. 🙂

basics · Changes · freedom · gratitude · happiness · inspiration

Taking a Holiday, All Year ‘Round

Joanne5 Comments

Being the creature of habit that I am, when the thought of taking a holiday pops into my brain, I have one point of destination in mind.

But no, today I will not be sharing stories of the place that I refer to as my home away from home. Nor will I be relating to you tales of the sun, the beaches, walks along the river, or any other physical aspect of enjoyment, although I could write multiple articles on the subject.

The holiday unit at the resort where we spend a week, sometimes two, more often than not during the steaming summer month of January, has all the basics we need; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, laundry, lounge and dining area.

The kitchen is kitted out with the basic pots and pans, cutlery, crockery, kettle and toaster. The laundry provides a washing machine, dryer, clothes airer, bucket, broom, mop iron and ironing board.

Basic bed linen, blankets and pillows are provided in the bedrooms, along with bath towels and bath mats in the bathrooms.

All we need to provide ourselves with is food, purchased from the supermarket just up the road from our holiday unit, in fact, its walking distance away.

Before leaving home, all we pack are our clothes, usually summer clothes at that, so we travel light in that regard, although by the time the kids have packed fishing rods, boogie boards, footballs, iPods, mobile phone, etc., we do actually end up with a loaded car.

For the sake of their outdoor enjoyment, however, I don’t mind their various water activity and sporting related bits and pieces. Holidays are for enjoyment, right?

And enjoy ourselves, we do!

Many times I have pondered the why’s and wherefore’s as to how it is that I seem to find more time when holidaying. Why do the days seem longer? There’s still twenty-four hours in every day wherever you are, so what gives?

After a meal, washing up the dishes is easier.

I hang my washing on the clothes line faster.

My ironing is finished in a jiffy (even in summer!)

The beds are made faster.

The floors are swept in next to no time (yes, we have to sweep the floors daily, after we have carted sand in on out feet, from the river or beach).

We end up with more time in every day. That doesn’t happen at home, so what have I been doing wrong at home?

Really, I simply cannot believe that it took me a number of years, multiple holidays and an overdose of brain-strain to realise what we were doing differently when we went away. The answer is so obvious….

When we go away on holidays, we are not bogged down with all of the material stuff we have at home. Our holiday unit is probably less than half the size of our home, and yet…

Some of the best days of our lives have been enjoyed whilst temporarily possessing only the bare necessities in life!

Once this realisation finally hit me, I wanted to re-create the holiday feeling all year through. Yes, even while I was at home.

And so began my task of discarding unwanted stuff around home, sorting through cupboards, purchasing only the essentials.

Minimising doesn’t happen overnight, but then again, the excess stuff around home didn’t accumulate overnight either. It took years, many years, of growing into our larger home. Our larger home came into being due to our growing family.

Funny how these things creep up on you, when you’re not looking, isn’t it?

When I’m holidaying, I enjoy the freedom and the lightweight feeling I carry with me every day. Life is easy, even if only for a week or two. Therefore, is it any wonder that taking a holiday is such a popular pastime?

We can, and should, treat ourselves all year round to this lightweight, heady freedom, when our souls can sour through the days with as much ease as a feather being carried along by the wind.

And so, with the memories of weightless, carefree days held close to my heart, I continue to discard the excess “bulk” from my life, thankful for the days spent in a holiday unit, where, unbeknownst to me, life’s lessons were being learned. 🙂

advice · challenges · freedom · knowledge

“Which Part of the Word “NO” Don’t You Understand?”

Joanne3 Comments

Dependable. Reliable. Trustworthy.

Unruffled. Problem Solver. Innovative.

I’m sure It would be an accurate assumption if I were to proclaim that everyone appreciates having a person in their lives, who possesses the above qualities.

When you miss the last bus home ~ they pick you up.

Your car runs out of petrol ~ they offer their car keys.

You’re flat broke and can’t pay your bills ~ they find money to lend to you.

You know the person I’m talking about. Right along the scale of extremes, ranging from something as simple as buying you a carton of milk, right through to providing you with a roof over your head when you lose your home, they’re there for you.

As a confidant, no one can surpass them. Your secrets are as safe as if they were locked in a vault.

This person thinks nothing of offering you their shoulder to cry on, only to find themselves drowning in your rivers of tears.

No, you say, they won’t drown, they’re invincible, solid as a rock, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound…

But are they? How long can they tolerate being your whipping-post?

Just imagine this; what if one day, assuming as you do, that your back-drop will be there, patiently awaiting your latest life’s little drama, poised at the ready, waiting to run to you as you click your fingers. But they’re not available. What if they are busy, have commitments elsewhere, have an appointment. Worse still…

What if they say no?!

What would you do then? Think they were joking? Laugh it off? Try to persuade them that your life is more important than theirs? Your time is more valuable?

And they still say no.

What’s going on? This isn’t going according to the script. They must be on the wrong page. You explain to them the importance of your dilemma. Say please. Explain some more. Plead with them. Assume they will change their mind and get over their moment of insanity.

No, they further explain…it can’t be done.

Okay, you think to yourself, I understand. They’re having a bad day/don’t feel well/ran out of milk themselves. They’ll get over it. Right now. I need them to jump. According to my plan, this is where they ask me how high.

Hmm…here’s a thought, just out of the blue, thrown in from left-wing, just a random thought at that…What if they don’t have a problem? What if you are their only problem?

What part of NO don’t you understand? Is it the “N” you are can’t get your head around, or is it the “O”?

It’s time to look reality right in the face. You are responsible for yourself. No one else is. If someone offers an act of kindness, appreciate it, thank them, don’t take them for granted, value them.

That special someone in your life, the one with the heart of gold, is allowed to have a life of their own. They are entitled to make plans, showing no consideration to the likelihood of your impending latest life’s drama.

It’s well worthwhile to keep this simple thought in mind. When making a request to someone, the likely outcome can go two ways ~ they may say yes, or they may actually say no.

You asked the question, be prepared for either answer. With a dignified acceptance of the answer being no, your friend is more likely to say yes the next time, especially so if you thank them for their time, their assistance and their friendship.

You wouldn’t want that heart of gold to tarnish,  now would you?

advice · basics · challenges · Changes · father · freedom · inspiration · Mum

What’s Behind the Fear of Parting with “Stuff”?

Joanne4 Comments

Yesterday I spoke about my thoughts on “Adopting the Minimalist Approach”, a subject which I feel quite strongly about for my own life, and although the concept is to “minimise” the material and emotional baggage in our lives, I have reached the conclusion that to minimise is, well, rather a complex subject.

Although we say we want to discard the unwanted material “stuff” in our homes, we don’t always actually take the action to do it…

What is it that we are so afraid of?

Let me tell you about the emotional tug o’ war I experienced myself, just this week, when sorting through the unused clothing hanging in my own wardrobe ~

Tucked away, right at the far end of the hanging rack, I had a long sleeved blouse, a gift from my mother; a short sleeved blouse, a gift from my father, and a knitted beige top, another gift from my father. When these items were newer, I wore them constantly. Each item, in its turn, had once been a much loved article of clothing.

Now, these clothes were yellowing, and smelled “musty”. Why? My mother has been gone nearly seventeen years, and my father, nearly twelve years!

“Who am I kidding”, I asked myself, “by hanging onto these clothes, will it bring my parents back??”

The truth of the matter is, if my parents were able, they would be the first to tell me to get rid of the clothes…and now I have.

What other excuses do we make to ourselves, you know, the self-talk moments we all have, when trying to justify why we can’t let go? ‘I might wear it/need it again one day’ or ‘I’ll fit into it again, when I lose weight’ or even ‘it’ll cost so much to replace it’.

I’m as guilty as the next person, I procrastinate when it comes time for the big clean out. But you know something? Once you start tossing that unwanted stuff into bags or boxes, momentum kicks in…The more you part with, the easier it gets!

Every time I get rid of more stuff, I feel liberated, and lighter. It’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I keep on going back to admire the clean, neat, tidy and emptier cupboards!

Getting rid of unwanted “stuff” fills me with a sense of achievement.

Another gigantic plus to owning less clothing is…a smaller ironing pile! More time away from the ironing board! Now, you can’t complain about that, can you? I’m not! 🙂

Every action we take should be motivated by the question of how this is going to improve our life.

With less clutter in our life ~ we can breathe more easily; it lifts the burden of the “excess weight” of material possessions.

When the clutter has been removed ~ it opens up the “space” around us, both physically and emotionally, making way for fresh, new, wonderful experiences to find us.

When the clothing is minimised ~ we spend less time deciding what to wear (and the ironing pile is smaller! 🙂 )

If you are planning on minimising the “stuff” that is blocking the flow of your life, I encourage you to ask yourself what it is that is holding you back from letting go. And be honest with yourself.

And if all else fails, think about how happy dogs are. All they ask for is food, shelter, love and a kind word. They don’t need any of the “stuff” we humans accumulate, but they are happy.

How about making yourself a little happier too? 🙂

advice · freedom · spiritual

Flicking Off the Labels

Joanne8 Comments

There’s no doubt about it, labels are a necessity of life. Can you imagine your kitchen cupboards, packed to the rafters, with unlabelled jars and canisters of goodness-knows-what?

Imagine mistaking the salt for sugar; your morning cup of coffee would hardly taste appealing with a dose of two teaspoons of salt, not to mention a sprinkling of salt on your cereal!

Hypothetically, if labels were banned en masse, surely our other senses would kick in, particularly our sense of smell. And surely our eyes would train themselves into analysing the appearance of the contents of the jars, rather than merely reading the name written on the label.

Indeed, labels ensure we clean our teeth with a tube of toothpaste, rather than a tube of glue and there is never any danger of mistakenly topping the oil up in our car with a bottle of cordial!

Society as we know it would suffer a tremendous loss, without the use of fashion labels. Imagine, if you will, the dent in the economy without labels on the clothing of the fashion high-flyers. Isn’t it common knowledge that an impressive “name” label, when attached to an item of clothing, increases its value no end?

I have begun to suspect that the populous of the world’s nations have become so engrossed in the utilising of labels that we are under threat of a brand new, world- wide epidemic, namely ~ “Label Overkill”; a disease  which appears to be sweeping across the entire human race.

As it is with all contagious diseases, “Label Overkill” would have had quite simple origins, perhaps just the harmless placing of a label such as “daughter” or “son”. This, in turn, would have produced the likes of other labels; mother, father, husband, wife, auntie, uncle, grandmother, cousin, all extremely harmless in themselves. In fact, aren’t these the very labels we proudly flaunt to the multitudes?

But it doesn’t stop there. Labelling continues with boss, employee, neighbour, acquaintance, friend, foe, boyfriend, girlfriend…

Websites such as My Space and Facebook have a lot to answer for. Such sites are guilty of spreading this epidemic of label overkill. The information page on Facebook requests you choose from the following labels, to describe your situation; single, in a relationship, married, engaged, it’s complicated, widowed and (can you believe this?), in an open relationship. :/

Why isn’t “none of the above” included?  Or “does it matter?” And really, whose business is it anyway? Oh, that’s right, Facebook are doing their “bit” to encourage “label overkill”, further spreading this epidemic.

In the interests of containing this disease I would like to suggest the following three points, as an alternative to labelling people.

  • Upon first meeting a new person, expect the best from them. Whether the meeting is in person, over the telephone, by email, Facebook, Twitter or anywhere on the World Wide Web, assume they will be pleasant and friendly towards you, right from the get-go. What you are expecting is always what you get!
  • Do not, under any circumstances, begin the immediate and endless process of mentally labelling people. Take your observations beyond the necessity of labels; see who the person really is ~ minus any form of labelling.
  • Display yourself to the world as an approachable, open, friendly, easy-to-get-along-with kind of soul, minus the necessity of any self-inflicted labels.

When first meeting a new person and if your two souls make a connection, as time progresses you will gradually learn more about your new friend.

What I find to be one of the most enjoyable aspects of meeting new people in any other manner than the regular “face to face” way is that quite often the personal communication begins long before you even know what the person looks like, therefore the ability to place a mental label upon someone, especially regarding age, race, marital status or looks, is not available to them, or you.

You actually have the opportunity to get to know a person, before any labelling process begins…the first connection being with their soul!

When the inevitable labels begin to appear, what would you have your label say about you? Would you prefer a list of all of your physical attributes, along with who you are to everyone else in your life? Or would your “label” be more of a personal encompassing of “who you really are”, emitting the rays of light and caring from your soul?

I know which one I would prefer. 🙂