autumn · blessings · grandchildren · grandson

A Perfect Day for Cuddles

The weather turned a tad chilly today. The mountain is still in hiding, we have had several showers of rain and tonight quite a cool breeze has picked up, making the temperature drop even further.

When my seven-week-old grandson arrived for a visit, I discovered the cooler day was perfect weather to cuddle him while he slept. And how could I resist this tiny face? I simply had to take a sneaky photo while he slept. 💙

Australia · blessings · Christmas · In My World

And so this is Christmas.

Sam's ornament
For Baby Samuel.

“So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear.” ~ John Lennon.

Cake 2015

As Christmas Day, 2015, draws to a close in Australia, a day filled with festivities is just beginning elsewhere in the world.

Gingerbread House

Most of the preparations for today began in my house yesterday. Emma continued what has become an annual tradition now, making and decorating a Gingerbread House….

GH trees & door

Every year, the family admires Emma’s work, and every year the Gingerbread House turns out to be an improved version of the house made the year before. Her patience is amazing, her hand steady….

GH trees

….and there is no limit to the amount of love she puts into her contribution to the family Christmas preparations each year.

bird house 15

Many of the ornaments adorning the Christmas tree have done so for many years, including those made for my children when they were babies. Other not-so-special ornaments have seen better days, so this year I have a few new ornaments on display. This cute little wooden bird house reflects my love for the birds that I feed in my garden every day.

2015 babies

This morning, I awoke to the sweet sounds of my pair of baby magpies, born in the highest branches of the Norfolk Pine tree in my front garden just a couple of months ago. Mama and Daddy magpie introduced their twins to me a few weeks ago and although the babies are still wary, they now know where to find food each day, when the pickings in the grassy areas are slim.

snow storm

The only snow we will ever enjoy here on Christmas Day is that in the snow storm ornament, but for the first time in many years, this year our Christmas day has been pleasantly cooler.

new 15

Regardless of the usual heat, we always enjoy our traditional Christmas dinner, complete with roasted meats and potatoes, followed by Christmas pudding and custard. The plans and preparations for Christmas continue for days in our house, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

new ornament 15

In a world filled with change, it’s comforting to know that the traditions of family, carried from one generation to the next, continue on. Christmas ornaments may be renewed, the menu for Christmas dinner may vary slightly from year to year, children grow and begin new families of their own, but at the nucleus of Christmas is love….the love shared by families, the tradition of celebration, the comfort and security of home.

2015
Hayley, Ben, Emma and Adam, Christmas Eve, 2015. My Children ~ My World. xxx

Merry Christmas to all of my family and friends, both near and far. May the blessing in your world continue as you celebrate Christmas this year.

Another year over ~ Remembering memories made ~ Looking forward to new memories.

~~~~~~~~

 

A Sense of Spirit · grand-baby one · gratitude · unbreakable bonds

Love Hurts.

Adam & MaryMany years ago I knew a wonderful old lady. She was our next door neighbour in Sydney and she had so many interesting stories to tell about her life, and the times she had lived through. If ever I went missing, my husband knew where to find me, as Mrs. Murchison and I would sit for hours, simply chatting.

During this time my dear old friend lost a son. I think he would have only have been in his sixties, and he passed away suddenly. Naturally, his mother felt devastated. She had already lost a daughter, and now a son.

Amid her grief, Mrs Murchison said to me one day, “This just isn’t right, it’s not the way it’s meant to be. Parents are not supposed to bury their children; it’s supposed to be the other way around”. As a young, recently married girl in my early twenties, her words had a profound effect on me. Up to that point in my life, I had never been touched by deep sadness or loss, and those words taught me so much. For the first time in my life, I caught a glimmer of the meaning of the word “grief”. My lovely neighbour lived to be one-hundred-and-two years of age.

I’ve remembered the sentiments of this kindly old lady many times since last Friday, when a roller-coaster ride of emotions began. Mary and I were to have lunch together, and go shopping for hers and Adam’s upcoming wedding in September. While I was in the shower, Mary sent me a text message, her mum was taking her for a quick check up with the midwife, and we would meet up shortly for lunch.

My mobile phone rang. Mary’s name came up on the screen, but it wasn’t Mary who I spoke to, it was her mum. Those words, “Mary has lost the baby”, along with the sound of Mary sobbing, are still ringing in my ears. I had to contact my son at work. My eldest son took him to the hospital. They both cried. My daughter and husband cried. And that was just the beginning; we have collectively cried a river of tears since Friday.

The labour, long and painful for Mary, emotionally traumatic for the rest of us, lasted all day Saturday. I stayed at the hospital all day, my son needed me.  A tiny little baby boy came into the world at 9:03pm, perfect in every way, except he never took a breath.

Early tests have shown fluid around his brain. It seems to have been just “one of those things”, not able to be predicted or prevented. Samuel had just stopped living.

We were fortunate enough to spend some time with baby Samuel, but nothing could have prepared me for the well of emotion I felt in seeing him, for I had seen a face almost identical to his once before, when my son was born. I hugged my son and we cried together. Between my sobs I told him that I didn’t want to be one of those grandparents who only saw their own child in the newborn, that Mary was Samuel’s mother, and I apologised to Mary. Adam told me not to be upset, that Mary had already said the same thing, so I told Mary that she had had a glimpse of what her future children would look like, to which she jokingly replied, yes, Adam’s twins.

This just isn’t right though, not the way it’s meant to be. Like Mrs Murchison, my son, and his fiance, who I have grown to love so much during the last year, have to say goodbye to their own son, a goodbye that is happening much too soon.  Seeing my son hurting is as painful as losing Samuel.

Yet today, life goes on, and I feel as if I am dragging my aching heart along with me, as I take care of the chores around home. Nothing has been done for three days. My eyes are welling with tears constantly, I am at home alone, and I’m finding it difficult to speak to anyone, other than my immediate family. Adam and Mary are staying with Mary’s mum for a few days, and trying to have a “normal” day themselves.

So in my state of mute grief, at home alone, washing machine spinning, dishwasher gurgling, what do I do to try and get through my emotions? I write. Typing words onto a computer screen, then sending them flying off into cyber-space is the only way I know how to deal with today. Kind messages are flooding through to us all, meaning the whole world to me as I read them through my tears, yet I don’t know what to say, other than an emotional and heartfelt “thank you”. Thank you for caring, thank you for your prayers, thank you for understanding.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and while I suspect I know why little Samuel  came to us, I still don’t know why he only stayed with us for such a short period of time. I’ll be keeping my eyes and heart open. Maybe, one day, The Universe will let me know.

A Sense of Spirit · blessings · grand-baby one · son

Samuel ~ Our Angel.

Samuel's hands and feet

 

Samuel Christopher Keevers

Stillborn ~ Saturday, 8th August, 2015

at 9:03 pm

No words can convey the happiness you brought into our family.

Nothing could have prepared me for the depths of despair I feel in losing you so soon.

My beautiful grandson, you will be loved always,

Remembered forever.

Tiny footprints, embedded in our hearts and souls forever.

I love you, Little Man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There is no footprint too small that cannot leave an imprint in this world.” ~ Author unknown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~