A Sense of Spirit · blessings · grand-baby one · son

Samuel ~ Our Angel.

Samuel's hands and feet

 

Samuel Christopher Keevers

Stillborn ~ Saturday, 8th August, 2015

at 9:03 pm

No words can convey the happiness you brought into our family.

Nothing could have prepared me for the depths of despair I feel in losing you so soon.

My beautiful grandson, you will be loved always,

Remembered forever.

Tiny footprints, embedded in our hearts and souls forever.

I love you, Little Man.

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“There is no footprint too small that cannot leave an imprint in this world.” ~ Author unknown.

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A Sense of Spirit · blessings · freedom · happiness

A Dog’s Purpose

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Tess

Sometimes, you can come across a story so incredibly profound and touching that it just has to be shared. And it has to be saved somewhere safe, where it can be read again and again, as the message it contains is so simple, yet so important if we wish to live a happy life. I read the following story on Facebook this morning, and it gave me goosebumps. And it reminded me of my joyful, departed Tess. ❤

“A Dog’s Purpose?
(according to a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa , and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE…Getting back up is LIVING…”

~ Source: Ultima National Resources, LLC

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A Sense of Spirit · blessings · Changes · gratitude · happiness

I must be old enough.

???????????????????????????????My four children mean the world to me. That’s one of the most consistent things I have noticed among my blogging friends too, we all adore our “babies”. They grow up to adulthood, remaining our babies, but they never fully understanding the depth and strength of the love we have in our hearts for them. They don’t realise the lengths we would go to either, to make sure they are happy. If there is anything we can do for them, we are there. No questions asked. We would move mountains for the children we love so dearly.

Over the years of my parenthood, I have occasionally attempted to explain to my offspring exactly how I feel about them, always failing to do so successfully, and ending by telling them that when they have a child of their own, then they will understand. That’s when they will feel how my love for them feels.

I often hear of parents, when their children reach a certain age, pressuring their children with questions of when, exactly, will they be made a grandparent. I have never subscribed to this form of questioning. To my way of thinking, it hints slightly toward emotional blackmail. I want, with every ounce of mother-love in me, for my grandchildren to come along when their parents are ready for their arrival. Not when I am ready.

Before my first child was conceived, I had a little spirit child visiting me. I heard his laughter, and could smell the sweet scent of baby in my home. I knew this dear little soul had chosen me to be his mother, and when he was only a few months old, and I heard his laughter, the same laughter I had heard “before”, it confirmed for me what my heart already knew.

During the busyness of life in the ensuing years, as I have happily worn the label of Mum of Four, my instincts have, many, many times, fallen by the way-side. I haven’t stayed in tune as much with my intuition. It has only been in more recent years, as my children have grown, that I have begun again to trust those instincts, remembering the little “hunches”, heeding the words and sounds that arrive in my mind, unannounced, (like the beautiful laughter of my first child,) and noticing, and really paying attention, to the images of what is to come.

For some time now, when asked if I have any grandchildren, my standing response has been, “I’m too young to be a grandmother”, and I believe with all my heart that my statement is the truth. Only when my children decide for themselves to have a child of their own, will I be old enough.

But a few months ago, something happened. An image, which I can only liken to the laughter I once heard over thirty years ago, appeared in my mind. Two little girls, twins, with curly blond hair.

One day in particular, when walking around some land with two of my children, where one of them intends building a home of their own, I looked at a large tree, with a solid branch extending out of one side, and saw, in my minds-eye, an image of my grandchildren, laughing, and playing on a swing, which had been attached to the tree branch.

That same day, my husband was at home, gardening. And he was puzzled. He felt that there was a child with him, helping in the garden. And when he told me he didn’t know who it was, that he didn’t know of any children in the spirit world, without hesitation I told him that it was our grandchild. And he understood. It felt right.

And we suspected that there is more than one little spirit child, making their choices. A new generation is being planned.

That all happened last year. Nothing further eventuated, until a few weeks ago. As I sat at my sewing machine, meditating, as I do whilst sewing, (I don’t know how else to describe the wanderings of my mind as I sew!) I began to plan what I would make for the baby, for Christmas….meaning this Christmas….could it be….???

….and a few days later, during an emotional announcement, I had occasion to tell my child to prepare their heart for the most overwhelming, unconditional love that they could ever in their lifetime expect to feel, when they see their own child, for the first time, in November.

So, I guess I must now be old enough. 🙂

It’s still early days. An ultra-sound, tomorrow, will give the estimated due date of the little walnut sized being, who has chosen us, our family, my child, to live through a lifetime with. It will also establish whether there is just one, or two little walnuts developing.

With complete certainty, I can tell you that this little baby (or babies) is/are loved, unconditionally, completely, already. Other grandma, much younger than me, is thrilled to bits at the news as well, as are all the great, and great-great grandparents! Aunties and uncles are beaming, cousins are excited. This baby will be born into one great big bubble of love.

This baby has chosen their parents well. 🙂

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Update ~ I wrote the above yesterday. The ultrasound has confirmed one baby, with a due date of November 23rd.

More to follow….much more.

 

 

 

A Sense of Spirit · authenticity · Changes · friends · gratitude

A week has passed….

Wednesday's Sunset.
Wednesday’s Sunset.

A week ago today was a very different day to this Saturday. I can’t say that it has been the easiest week I have ever lived through, but I have survived, albeit with a hole in my heart where by beautiful Tess once lived. I simply can’t bring myself to write about the day again. On Sunday last week I added a brief summary of events to my blipfoto journal ~

“And so a new day begins, without our beautiful girl and the house and garden seem so quiet and still….

Josh, a close friend going back to childhood days, of my son Ben, who is now a vet, came to our home and helped Tess to end her suffering. We took her to a place in the garden where she loved to sit, an area of lawn near to the pool, and she lay there quietly as if she knew what was to come.

Josh was a God-send with his gentle voice and manner. Tess’s acceptance of what was to be, and being there with my two sons and husband as Tess gently closed her eyes was a beautiful end to our dear fury girl’s life. Tess now joins our other fury friends, our three other dogs, Sire, Bear and Nellie and our cat, Sunny, in the pet graveyard, in the garden beside the pool.”

The next day, we bought an azalea, and this is what I wrote on blipfoto the following day ~

“The back garden is so big and empty today and the veranda, where Tess’s bed once lay with her on it are both gone. And my mind has gone to mush. Even as I dressed myself this morning, I thought, “the last time I wore these clothes, Tess was still with us”. I know, it’s pathetic, and I have sewing to do for children who start back at school next week. What will the children wear to school if I don’t pull my finger out and get sewing?

I know this mopey feeling will pass. It’s just all so new right now, not having her around…

Yesterday we went looking for a plant to mark her grave and found a very pretty Azalea. Her grave is in a shady area, not far from two frangipani trees, so it will be a very lovely area when the garden there is completed.”

Tess's Azalea.
Tess’s Azalea.

I wrote these two passages on the day that they happened and I still ache inside as I re-read the words I wrote. I simply cannot write new words, so I hope you will forgive me for taking the easy road and adding what was already written.

Sweet Grand-Puppy, Bella.
Sweet Grand-Puppy, Bella.

But life goes on….my grand-puppy Bella, a gentle and affectionate Border Collie, has spent some days with me this week. She is a beautiful companion and she has made me laugh so many times. Bella being here has shown me that their is life after Tess, that I can love again.

Already, I know who my next puppy will be and I know her name. I see her face in my mind’s eye. She will find me when the time is right, but that time is not now. I think she will find me in a few months time, after my still-raw wounds of the heart have been given some time to heal.

My word for 2014 is Authentic. I could pretend that I’m feeling just fine, but in keeping with my word, I can’t, I wont pretend. I know that we made the right decision to let Tess sleep, that she is now running around the big field in the sky with her friend Nellie and that we will meet again one day. But it still hurts to lose her. I need time.

I thought I was okay, but my eyes are welling with tears again as I type. I know this will pass, but obviously there are still a few more tears that need to escape my eyes. When I think of all the kind and comforting messages my blogging and blipfoto friends have left me during the last week, again my eyes fill with tears, but tears of a different kind. These tears are those of gratitude for the kindness shown to me by so many people, people who I have mostly never met in person, yet I have been enveloped by hugs of kindness through the internet waves.

Thank you, my friends. ❤

Rest well, my Tess. ❤

blessings · freedom · friends

A Sad Day…

In Loving Memory

If it should be

” If it should be, that I grow frail and weak,
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don’t let your grief then stay your hand
For this day more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.

Together we’ve had so many happy years,
And what is to come will hold no fears –
You’ll not want me to suffer, and so,
When the time comes, please let me go.

I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness you do to me,
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you,
Who has to decide this thing to do,
We’ve been so close we two these years,
So don’t let your heart
Hold any tears.” ~ Author Unknown.