Month: July 2010

advice · challenges · Changes

Too Far Out of Your Comfort Zone

Joanne3 Comments

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

With all of the advocates around these days for “leaving your comfort zone, to get ahead in life”, I almost feel the need to issue a warning before I say another word…almost. Due to my own opinion, of “everyone has the freedom to choose to do whatever they wish with their lives”, it nullifies the need for any warning.

How long ago was it that all of this talk about “you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone” begin? It seems to me that I’ve been listening to the wise and wonderful lecturing us on their opinion for more years than I care to remember.

Believe me; I’ve tried getting out of my comfort zone, against my better judgement. I have buckled at the knees, due to a combination of peer pressure along with the miss-guided belief that another person, or persons, know better than I do regarding what is right for my life.

This poses a dilemma ~ do you stubbornly remain totally within the parameters of your comfort zone, at the expense of not making any progress in your life?

Here’s an example, based on my own experience ~ someone I met years ago, whom I believed possessed a huge dose of credibility, convinced me that it would be in my best interests to allow a complete stranger to babysit my children every Saturday, and sometimes both days of the weekend, whilst I pursued a career in marketing. This position also involved public speaking.

Whilst I succumbed to the pressure placed upon me to follow through with this “new and exciting” life, every weekend, as regular as clockwork, I would wake up on Saturday morning feeling “sick”. Recognising the Saturday morning “illness” as a good old fashioned dose of nerves, I persevered.

After a period of time, during which my children missed me, I felt guilty for leaving them with said stranger each weekend, and I broke out in a cold sweat and practically hyperventilated at the mere hint that I may be requested to stand on stage and address the multitudes, I quit.

That’s right…I quit. So much for leaving my comfort zone!

Which leads me to the questions, when is it the right time to step outside of your comfort zone, and how do you define how far out of your comfort zone is too far…?

When embarking upon a new venture or starting with anything new, there is bound to be a certain amount of anxiety present. How do you define the anxiety?

  • Is it butterflies in the tummy and a leaping heart? Does the mere thought of this venture make your soul sing? Is your intuition telling you to “go for it?”
  • Has the new venture you are about to embark upon been decided on through your own free will?
  • Or…Has someone coerced you into a decision, (when your intuition has its doubts), by bombarding you with a large array of so called “positive points”?
  • Does it feel as though you are about to walk through fire, and across a bed of broken glass, simultaneously?

The thrill seekers out there may be requesting the fire and broken glass at this point, however I would be surprised if any thrill seekers had any interest in reading this blog! (Thrill seekers please note ~ your Google search has led you astray!)

Wisdom gained thus far through the years has taught me a mighty strong lesson. If the anxiety brought about by an idea of trying something new is just way too high on the Richter scale, I change my plans, simple as that!

If the task is just too far outside of your comfort zone, chances are one-thousand-to-one that you won’t stick with it anyway; then you may be in danger of feeling like a failure! (But that’s another topic, for another day!)

Your intuition will never lead you astray, unless it is influenced by another person. Trust your intuition; it is an intimate friend of yours and as such, knows exactly what is best for you.

You can enjoy the very best of everything that life has to offer, by following the requests of your own intuition. Your soul will be relieved too.

So sit down in a comfortable chair, put your feet up, close your eyes, relax, take a few deep breaths and clear your mind. Tune in to the singing of your soul, as you relax comfortably, making your own personal choices, for your own personal advancement through life, in your very own comfort zone. 🙂

Australia · Changes · father · gardening · Mum · nostalgia · pies

Recollections of Comfort and Security

Joanne2 Comments

“Ah! There’s nothing like staying home for real comfort” ~Jane Austen.

Once in a while, memories of my first childhood home re-emerge, usually brought about by a mention of the area I once live in, and every time it happens I am left with a feeling of melancholy.

The reminder this time was due to my stumbling upon a blog, discontinued in 2006, written by a lady living in Woodford in the Blue Mountains. In her blog she had spoken of her love for anything vintage ~ clothing, jewellery, books, recipes…actually, this woman and I have a lot in common.

My own early childhood home in the Blue Mountains was in the little township of Valley Heights. Today, the population of Valley Heights is estimated at 1,336, so you can imagine how tiny the town would have been back when I was a child!

Way back in the early days, in 1813, when Australia was still learning to walk, three explorers, Blaxland, Lawson and Wentworth, managed to find their way through the rugged, mountainous bushland of the Blue Mountains, opening New South Wales out to the western plains area.

Although the progression of time has brought about many changes, both to my old home and the area, my memory still holds images of the three bedroom house, mostly built by my father; the home where the true meaning of the words comfort and security originated in my existence, and still live today.

Recollections of red velvet curtains, a wood grain wall, a kerosene heater and grey carpet in the lounge room. Linoleum floors throughout the rest of the house, including my bedroom, with scatter rugs here and there.

My bedroom was painted pink, with my second hand furniture repainted in light blue. A low, built in cupboard ran along one wall, purpose built by my brother-in-law to hold my doll collection. At one count, I had collected around forty-something dolls.

The house was humble, to say the least, but in my mind I lived in a beautiful mansion, surrounded by lush gardens; a tall weeping willow tree down the back, not far from the swing my father had built for me and where I would spend hours of my time.

Out the back, we grew hydrangeas and fuchsias, which to this day still remain two of my favourite flowers, and we had mint growing and a passionfruit vine. Our garden backed onto a gully full of various species of gum trees and bottlebrush, but my favourite find in the bush was always the uniquely shaped branches of a plant we called “mountain devils”. I could walk with ease alone down the gully, to a point where there sat a huge bush rock. The rock was my limit, without my father’s help.

In the front garden my sister had planted poppies, roses, gardenias, violets and daphnes, along with as many other flowering plants as she could lay her hands on. She was married the day before my seventh birthday, but still spent time in the garden when she can home to visit us.

Nothing gave me more delight than walking to the end of our street with an empty bowl, returning home to my mother with the bowl full of wild growing blackberries, which she would turn into a pie. Wild flowers grew everywhere in the area as well, in the empty lots of land and along the sides of the roads.

Those were the days when we bought our milk, bread and vegetables from the back of one of the many vans, which travelled around the streets selling their produce. We lived on a gravel road and walked everywhere we needed to go. If the walk was too long, we took a bus.

Life was oh so simple back then. And the air was fresh and cool, not surprisingly, with an altitude of 375 meters (1,230 feet) above sea level. Winters were cold and summer days were rarely unbearably hot. It doesn’t snow at Valley Heights, although we would regularly visit the snow, when it made its appearance during the winter months, by travelling just a few kilometres further into the mountains.

When melancholy sets in, it is brought about not by the memories of a time long gone, but rather from knowing that my family prefers to live in a warmer climate, beside the sea.

I wonder if the blogger from Woodford still lives in the Blue Mountains, enjoying her vintage finds in the many antique stores and craft shops there? As far as I know, the cottage industry is still alive and well in the mountains and I feel certain that the antique stores and art galleries have multiplied, since my last visit there.

The melancholy will pass, I promise, and I will bounce back tomorrow, my usual chirpy self. 🙂

What about you ~ do you have a special location, held near and dear to you in your heart of hearts?

advice · gratitude · inspiration · music

Be Gentle with Yourself

Joanne7 Comments

The music of the 1970’s was unlike the music of any other preceding decade. And whilst it was a time when heavy metal bands blared out their raucous sounds, men grew their hair longer than women, wore more makeup than women, and everyone was wearing platform shoes, (much to the disgust of the older generations), some surprisingly sensitive songs beamed across the radio airwaves as well.

As an alternative to the Glam Rock, we enjoyed the soothing sounds of David Gates and Bread, Lobo, Carly Simon, James Taylor, The Bee Gees, Olivia Newton John, Chicago, The Hollies, Tele Savalas…Tele who?

What? You don’t recall the top rating television series Kojak, a detective show centred on a bald headed guy, Theo Kojak, played by Tele Savalas?

Don’t worry, I’ve been left out of the loop too, I have never watched an episode of Kojak; all I remember is the beautiful hit “song”, “Desiderata”.

Unless you heard Tele Savalas’s version of “Desiderata” during the 70’s, you will probably have no idea whatsoever what I am talking about here!

Tele Savalas was an actor, not a singer, however he did own a deep toned, smooth-as-silk speaking voice, and he talked his way all the way through a hit song, “Desiderata”.

As a teenager, I worked in a newsagency and bookstore. Wall posters were very “in” at the time and the newsagency carried a huge range, including one containing all of the verses of “Desiderata”. My interest was piqued.

There appears to be some debate as to the origins of Desiderata. The most popular belief seems to be that it was copyrighted in 1927, by Max Ehrmann, although further debate exists as to whether or not this copyright is still valid.

Regardless, it is a beautiful piece of writing, offering inspiration in all aspects of life, the words still as valid today as they were when Desiderata was apparently penned in the early 1900’s.

I would like to share “Desiderata” here with you today. Even if you have read through the words before, read them again now; an overdose of inspiration never hurt anyone. 🙂

Let me know how you feel about “Desiderata”, whether it is your first, or one-hundred-and-first reading. I especially love the words, “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself”.

And always remember to be gentle with yourself. 🙂

**********

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the council of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

**********

gratitude · happiness · inspiration

Happiness plus Gratitude Equals Overwhelming Joy

Joanne4 Comments

I have just returned from another visit to the Calm Space this morning. It feels like Káren is hosting a party over there this month, and Happiness has taken over as the host!

This week Stephanie, Linda, Annie and Anne have joined in the party, each with their own individual concept of happiness.

With all of the talk about Happiness, the happy feelings are becoming contagious! It is absolutely a state of mind, and one which is building momentum with each passing week, as more articles are added at the Calm Space.

Not to be outdone, Gratitude has made a surprise guest appearance also, reminding us all to show gratitude for what we have been identifying as those things which bring us happiness.

Yesterday morning after completing my post “My Ultimate List of 27 Happiness Finders! “ I took myself off to the kitchen to bake a pineapple boiled fruit cake, under the hungry and watchful eyes of Master Twelve, who is on school holidays. The week thus far the weather has given us nothing other than cold, windy, misty and wet days and we have had no problem at all in finding indoor activities to keep us amused until the fine weather reappears.

I had included baking a cake on my list of Happiness Is… and the end result turned out to be a cake that had never tasted better during all of the years I have baked it!

The vital ingredients required for baking my cake are fruit, flour, eggs butter, sugar and spices (and of course, the oven!). I am now realising that those ingredients, combined with the happy state I found myself in, (happiness), due to writing my post on happiness, and an overwhelming delight at seeing my son so enthusiastically awaiting the end result emerging from the oven, (gratitude), produced the most delightfully joyful results!

Therefore, my conclusion is “Happiness plus Gratitude Equals Overwhelming Joy”!

Reading through the articles on the Calm Space this month has also been a reminder to me to appreciate the times when we are feeling less than happy, as the tough times in life are a lesson to us also. Mostly, they remind us to look for the positive, even in less than desirable situations, as “every cloud has a silver lining”.

Happiness is the most inspirational of states to spend your days in. From this day forward, I resolve to offer the utmost appreciation and gratitude, for every wonderful aspect there is of my life.

I’m not usually a party animal, but from now on my intention is to attend every party that Happiness is hosting; especially if he brings Gratitude along to join in the fun! 🙂

happiness · inspiration

My Ultimate List of 27 Happiness Finders!

Joanne4 Comments

How do you define happiness? Ever given it much thought? Perhaps it’s simply a matter of flippantly commenting that you are either happy, or unhappy, without giving the feeling any further thought at all.

The theme this month at the Calm Space is “happiness” and I have been giving the feeling of happiness some further investigation myself. My conclusion is ~ happiness is a state of mind, and an extremely personal state at that.

It is impossible for another person to make you feel happy. You may feel happy when spending time with someone special to you, perhaps a person you love. Thoughtful actions from a person can give a feeling of happiness as well. Remember though, they didn’t make you feel that way, you made the decision to feel happy yourself; it was your own choice.

Yes, happiness is very personal.

Happiness arrives in my own life in a multitude of different ways. Today, I will share with you my ultimate list, (in no particular order), of things that make me happy, swell my heart, make my spirit soar and bring a smile to my face. 🙂

Happiness is…

  • Stroking my cat’s silky fur and listening to them purr.
  • Listening to my son play the piano.
  • Eating chocolate and drinking coffee, together.
  • Watching a bee collect pollen from a flower in my garden.
  • Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, on a cool winter’s day.
  • The cooling summer’s rain, hitting my hot, sticky skin.
  • Listening to the chiming of my clock.
  • My dog, leaping after the ball, when we play fetch.
  • Walking along the beach, on a winter’s day.
  • Writing a letter and posting it, the old-fashioned way.
  • Hearing the happiness in my daughter’s voice, when she talks to her friends.
  • A hawk, gliding high above the ground, in search of its prey.
  • The sky full of twinkling stars, on a clear night.
  • Hearing the sound of a child’s laughter.
  • A picnic in the park, next to the river.
  • Reading a book, with no interruptions.
  • The smell of roses and the feeling of the petals touching my face.
  • Baking a favourite cake in my kitchen.
  • A hug from one of my children.
  • The feel of the black velvet fur of my dog.
  • Cuddling up under a blanket on a cold night.
  • Eating a freshly picked mandarin, from the tree in my garden.
  • Seeing the ocean, from the back of my house, on a clear day.
  • Taking a holiday with my family, at my favourite holiday destination.
  • Arriving home again, refreshed, after a holiday.
  • Spending hours, browsing through a second-hand book shop.
  • Holding a new born baby.

Just thinking about these things makes me happy! 🙂

This list could go on forever! I’m sure you could add so much more to the list…so please do!

Don’t forget to pop over to the Calm Space also, where you will find Angela feeling grateful for happiness, Chania Girl giving up on the pursuit of happiness (fun!) and Káren declaring that it’s all about happiness! 🙂