Category: friends

daughter · friends · gratitude · inspiration

An Ideas Kind of Man

JoanneLeave a comment

action balls black and white illustration
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This morning I had a visitor. Two visitors, actually.

Time spent with my beautiful eldest daughter is always time well spent. She’s a ray of sunshine in my day, always has been, right from the very day she was born.

She brought with her today “The Man in Her Life”. This is the man who possesses magical powers, having swept my daughter completely off her feet over five years ago, and they have lived happily together ever since.

My daughter’s head has never been easily turned. But she knows what she wants. And she got what she wanted….and so did he!

My daughter’s man values his privacy, so for the sake of today’s exercise, I’ll call him, umm…Bill.

You know when Bill has entered the room, he’s like a whirlwind. And he disappears without ceremony. No long goodbyes for this man! By the time the dust has settled and the swirling leaves have fallen to the ground, he’s vanished.

The value of Bill is in the brief time he spends with you, in the room! The electric currents running through his brain simply bounce off the walls and, if your mind is receptive, it won’t be long before your own mind is buzzing, right along with his.

Bill has presence. He has charisma. And most importantly, he has good instincts.

Many a time I have asked his advice on matters that I have been too close to, to be able to handle objectively. Without so much as a bat of an eyelid, Bill utters a sentence, leaving you with a whole new perspective on the matter at hand.

If I could find a way to bottle his natural ability to find solutions to every matter mentioned to him, we’d be rich, and the world would be a better place to live in.

He’s rarely moody. Nor does he take anything too seriously. Yet he is one of the most compassionate people I know.

Our conversation this morning has left me, yet again, with a million ideas running through my brain. Don’t ask me how the conversation started. I never know what it is that prompts any conversation with Bill. They just happen.

Bill says one thing; I reply, my daughter interjects; before long we seem to all be talking together, hearing every words spoken by each of us!

Momentum kicks in; one idea leads to the next. He leaves you with plenty to contemplate!

I do believe that everyone needs a “Bill” in their life; make that several “Bills”!

He’s an ideas person. What he says makes a whole lotta sense. He gets you thinking.

It occurred to me today that there are many internet based “Bills”; people with ideas, who offer inspiration, who start the ball rolling on any subject matter you care to choose from.

Pick an idea out of a hat. Look it up on the internet. There’ll be someone there talking about your idea, offering suggestions, helping you gain momentum to keep that ball rolling along.

If they’re a blogger, you can begin to interact. They give you ideas. Hopefully, you reciprocate.

You don’t steel their ideas; all it may take is a simple sentence, which leads you to an idea, which progresses to another thought, then another.

Unknowingly, your friend on the other side of the world has brought new meaning to your day.

The same applies to feelings. With so many uplifting websites around, there are some days when I simply do not have enough time to get to them all!

I value my online friends, the “Bills” who inspire my days so often without even realising they have done so.

And I am grateful for my in the flesh Bill, the one who makes my daughters world a wonderful place, who she happily shares with her family. 🙂

advice · daughter · friends

Friendships ~ Knowing When to Stay and When to Go

Joanne1 Comment

The world is made up of all kinds of people; different races, cultures, males and females, but we are all born the same….aren’t we?

Perhaps not.

Take the subject of friendships, for example.

What is the definition of a good friend?

Caring, trustworthy, truthful,  loyal….

Take loyalty, for example.

How should we define loyalty?

Can a friend not display enough loyalty?

Can there ever be too much loyalty in a friendship?

Personally, I was born loyal. I do not believe anyone ever sat me down and told me, “Jo, you must be loyal to prove you are a good friend”.

Over the years I have become aware that there are those who could, in fact, benefit from an explanation of loyalty in a friendship….they have none.

So, what type of a friend is a disloyal friend?

Where do you draw the invisible line between the right amount of loyalty, and too much loyalty?

In other words ~ When is the right time to stand by your friends and when do you know when the time has come to move on?

Those who have known me well throughout my life regard me as loyal and I have been proud to wear that label. It has even been said that if Jack the Ripper were my best friend, I would stand by him!

With age comes wisdom, and you are never too old to learn a thing or two.

Even from those much younger than yourself.

Even from your own children.

I stand in total awe and admiration of one of my children. They are so young. They have so much to learn, and yet they have taught me that there comes a time when you have to say, “enough is enough” and turn your back on a friend.

Loyalty can be pushed to the limits and then it can break, because of a very important component in the game of friendship.

The Golden Rule ~ Loyalty must go both ways between friends. If the loyalty is heading only in one direction, it isn’t a true friendship.

In the past, especially as a young person, I have timidly backed away from a friend when I have noticed the signs that the friendship is coming to an end, waiting for some sign to show me that they were just having a bad day, had an argument with another friend…you fill in the “what if’s” here. What I’m saying is, I would accept any excuse they gave me. And believe it! (How gullible!!)

That sweet, sweet child of mine, the one who can teach me as many new things as I can teach her, has shown such loyalty to her friends throughout her life that she has given me massive amounts of pride in her behaviour, especially in this day and age, when teenage friendships can appear so superficial.

And if and when the time comes, she knows when to walk away.

She never looks back. Ever.

No amount of cajoling, apologies, sweet smiles or excuses will sway her opinion. She never looks back, not even for a quick peek, just to check if her now former friend is okay.

The loyalty must go both ways for her….

A very close friend may get a second chance. But two strikes and they’re gone!

Forever.

And therein, I believe, lies the answer to the question ~

How do you know when to stay and when to go?

Ask yourself the questions, “Am I being shown the same loyalty that I am bestowing upon my friend?….and….

Is my friend being truthful with me?

If the answer is “no” to these two question ~ walk away. Don’t look back.

(Clue – you can’t have one of the above questions with a yes answer and the other a no. That’s not possible!)

My child has taught me well. I have learned the lesson well.

So, Jack the Ripper, if you are reading this, you are no longer my friend! 😉

friends · gardening · gratitude · happiness

Feathered Friends…and Fears!

JoanneLeave a comment
Young Magpie

Going back to the beginning of time, for myself at least, I have always been afraid of birds.

Ornithophobia ~ the fear of birds.

As a general rule, ornithophobia is brought about by an unpleasant experience, perhaps as a child, involving birds, such as being attacked in some way or pecked badly when feeding birds at a picnic in a park.

If the fear is left unchecked it can, apparently, lead to fear of leaving the home (agoraphobia). The ornithophobia sufferer could possibly fear an unexpected encounter with their feathered enemies, therefore wishing to stay within the safe confines of their home.

Another theory for the cause of ornithophobia is when a child has lived with a parent who has an extreme fear of birds and this fear is passed onto the child.

Which of the above gave me my own fear of birds?

None of them!

I haven’t even seen the Alfred Hitchcock/Daphne du Maurier movie “The Birds”!

There is not a single bad bird experience in my early life to relate!

And both of my parents loved birds!

The strange thing is, there is no logical reason for my fear.

However I do recall, as a child, having nightmares which had me waking up all a-tremble, in which birds were flapping their feathers around me!

During my teenage years, a friend suggested that my fear may not be of birds, but rather feathers.

Pteronophobia ~ the fear of feathers.

Pteronophobia (please don’t ask me how to pronounce the word!) is believed to have the sufferer in fear of being near feathers, being tickled by feathers and even afraid to use a feather duster!

Um, I’ve always loved collecting feathers, find the gentleness of feathers against my skin very soothing and have never given my feather duster any further thought other than knowing  it will dust my furniture successfully!

As a result of my fear….

…I have never owned a bird as a pet.

Never, that is, until August last year, when a pretty little feathered fellow, with the most beautiful personality and expressive eyes, won my heart. You can read the story of the first bird I have ever owned here.

So much for the theories!

I’m afraid that I’m not a typical example of a recovering ornithophobic or pteronophic person. The extreme fear of being around birds was most certainly real, although it has never caused problems in my life. There was no explanation for my fear and I have never felt the need to seek professional advice to overcome my fear.

How is ornithophobia and pteronophobia treated?

It is suggested that the sufferer confronts their fear and is taught some positive self-talk. Relaxation and meditation are recommended to curb their anxiety. Hypnosis and medication may even be recommended.

How did I overcome my fear of birds?

Gradually, unexpectedly, and without even trying!

During the last three years I have spent hours, which have turned into days and even weeks, out in my garden, alone ~ planting, digging, weeding, mulching, watering, pruning ~ with a family of magpies standing nearby, chortling to me and quietly walking so close to me when my back has been turned that I could have reached down and touched them!

They are not afraid of me!

The magpies have talked to me in their own very intelligent bird language. At times, I have been certain that I know exactly what they are telling me!

The adult birds bring their baby birds to me, asking for titbits of food from my kitchen. They are so trusting and tame that I’m sure they would allow me to hand feed them, in the same way I hand feed my own little pet bird, Charlie.

Gratitude for my new friends and their habitat.

Just as surely as nothing in particular, (that I can put my finger on anyway,) gave me the fear of birds, my fear has vanished.

As I have pottered the hours away quietly working in my garden, appreciating every brightly coloured flower and butterfly, the industrious bees and warmth of the sun, I have felt no fear.

My garden is a safe, enjoyable haven.

Perhaps my calm and appreciative demeanour has been evident to the birds, who have happily shared their “home” with me, sensing the happiness I have felt within my surroundings with their own “sixth sense”.

Whatever the reason is for overcoming my fear of birds, I’m just happy that it happened! 🙂

Australia · friends

A Most Unlikely Friendship

Joanne2 Comments

During the month of October last year, the theme at the Calm Space was “Courage”.

As a regular contributor to the Calm Space, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to share a story I had heard of, via the internet, about two men and their pet lion, Christian.

The editor of the Calm Space, the lovely Káren Wallace, is in holiday mode throughout January, as here in Australia nearly the whole of the month is devoted to school holidays, hot weather and recovering from Christmas!

Káren and her family have a busy month personally, with birthdays and anniversary celebrations, plus moving house, so it is an ideal opportunity for Káren to rerun some favourite articles which have featured over the last three years.

Today, I have decided to follow in Káren’s footsteps and rerun one of my own favourite articles, “Finding the Courage to Let Go”.

The story of Christian the Lion is one of yes, courage, and also love, devotion, loyalty and friendship.

While you are over at the Calm Space, have a browse through the inspiring articles you will find there. Káren makes her readers feel right at home with her own warm, friendly, chatty articles.

I promise you will leave her site feeling rejuvenated and ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead for you!

friends · gratitude · happiness

People Come Into Your Life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

Joanne2 Comments

Many months ago, an email arrived in my inbox, one which stood out from the standard “forwards” I regularly receive from my friends.

This email defined friendships; and the words were memorable.

Yesterday, as I contemplated the many topics that I could cover during the month of January, in keeping with the theme of “friends”, the NaBloPoMo theme for the month, I wondered if I still had a copy of the old email.

My wondering soon came to an end, however, when another copy of the same email arrived late last night, not surprisingly from a very dear friend who lives on the other side of the world from me! (That was a case of the Law of Attraction at its best!!)

The email defines the various friends who find us during the journey of our lives, dividing the friendships into three categories ~ those who are there for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When Someone is in Your Life for a Reason

When a friend appears in your life for a reason, they are there to meet a need you have at that time, such as to offer their guidance and support throughout the course of a difficulty you may be experiencing.

They seem to be sent by God, to assist you during a physical, emotional or spiritual difficulty.

Then, without warning, something happens to bring the friendship to an end.

They leave your life, perhaps due to an argument you have with them. The reason for them appearing in your life has been fulfilled, your prayers have been answered and it is time for them to move on.

When Someone is in Your Life for a Season

When a friend comes into your life for a season, it is your turn to help, enabling you to share, grow or learn.

This friend is likely to bring peace, happiness and laughter to your life, in huge doses!

Believe in the friendship, it is very real, but only for a season.

Lifetime Friendships

The purpose of lifetime friendships is to teach you lessons which will last a lifetime, lessons to be built upon for a solid emotional foundation.

It is your job to love this friend, accept these lessons and put what you have learned from them to use, in all of the other areas and relationships of your life.

Friendship is a Two-Way Street

As I read through the email, it occurred to me that friendship is most definitely a two-way street. Friends are not in your life to only satisfy your needs and to help you grow.

To be classified as a genuine friendship you also must share with your friend your love, support, encouragement and loyalty.

Only then will you fully appreciate and realise the full extent of genuine friendship, no matter whether the person is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.