advice · basics · challenges · Changes · father · freedom · inspiration · Mum

What’s Behind the Fear of Parting with “Stuff”?

Yesterday I spoke about my thoughts on “Adopting the Minimalist Approach”, a subject which I feel quite strongly about for my own life, and although the concept is to “minimise” the material and emotional baggage in our lives, I have reached the conclusion that to minimise is, well, rather a complex subject.

Although we say we want to discard the unwanted material “stuff” in our homes, we don’t always actually take the action to do it…

What is it that we are so afraid of?

Let me tell you about the emotional tug o’ war I experienced myself, just this week, when sorting through the unused clothing hanging in my own wardrobe ~

Tucked away, right at the far end of the hanging rack, I had a long sleeved blouse, a gift from my mother; a short sleeved blouse, a gift from my father, and a knitted beige top, another gift from my father. When these items were newer, I wore them constantly. Each item, in its turn, had once been a much loved article of clothing.

Now, these clothes were yellowing, and smelled “musty”. Why? My mother has been gone nearly seventeen years, and my father, nearly twelve years!

“Who am I kidding”, I asked myself, “by hanging onto these clothes, will it bring my parents back??”

The truth of the matter is, if my parents were able, they would be the first to tell me to get rid of the clothes…and now I have.

What other excuses do we make to ourselves, you know, the self-talk moments we all have, when trying to justify why we can’t let go? ‘I might wear it/need it again one day’ or ‘I’ll fit into it again, when I lose weight’ or even ‘it’ll cost so much to replace it’.

I’m as guilty as the next person, I procrastinate when it comes time for the big clean out. But you know something? Once you start tossing that unwanted stuff into bags or boxes, momentum kicks in…The more you part with, the easier it gets!

Every time I get rid of more stuff, I feel liberated, and lighter. It’s like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I keep on going back to admire the clean, neat, tidy and emptier cupboards!

Getting rid of unwanted “stuff” fills me with a sense of achievement.

Another gigantic plus to owning less clothing is…a smaller ironing pile! More time away from the ironing board! Now, you can’t complain about that, can you? I’m not! 🙂

Every action we take should be motivated by the question of how this is going to improve our life.

With less clutter in our life ~ we can breathe more easily; it lifts the burden of the “excess weight” of material possessions.

When the clutter has been removed ~ it opens up the “space” around us, both physically and emotionally, making way for fresh, new, wonderful experiences to find us.

When the clothing is minimised ~ we spend less time deciding what to wear (and the ironing pile is smaller! 🙂 )

If you are planning on minimising the “stuff” that is blocking the flow of your life, I encourage you to ask yourself what it is that is holding you back from letting go. And be honest with yourself.

And if all else fails, think about how happy dogs are. All they ask for is food, shelter, love and a kind word. They don’t need any of the “stuff” we humans accumulate, but they are happy.

How about making yourself a little happier too? 🙂

advice · freedom · spiritual

Flicking Off the Labels

There’s no doubt about it, labels are a necessity of life. Can you imagine your kitchen cupboards, packed to the rafters, with unlabelled jars and canisters of goodness-knows-what?

Imagine mistaking the salt for sugar; your morning cup of coffee would hardly taste appealing with a dose of two teaspoons of salt, not to mention a sprinkling of salt on your cereal!

Hypothetically, if labels were banned en masse, surely our other senses would kick in, particularly our sense of smell. And surely our eyes would train themselves into analysing the appearance of the contents of the jars, rather than merely reading the name written on the label.

Indeed, labels ensure we clean our teeth with a tube of toothpaste, rather than a tube of glue and there is never any danger of mistakenly topping the oil up in our car with a bottle of cordial!

Society as we know it would suffer a tremendous loss, without the use of fashion labels. Imagine, if you will, the dent in the economy without labels on the clothing of the fashion high-flyers. Isn’t it common knowledge that an impressive “name” label, when attached to an item of clothing, increases its value no end?

I have begun to suspect that the populous of the world’s nations have become so engrossed in the utilising of labels that we are under threat of a brand new, world- wide epidemic, namely ~ “Label Overkill”; a disease  which appears to be sweeping across the entire human race.

As it is with all contagious diseases, “Label Overkill” would have had quite simple origins, perhaps just the harmless placing of a label such as “daughter” or “son”. This, in turn, would have produced the likes of other labels; mother, father, husband, wife, auntie, uncle, grandmother, cousin, all extremely harmless in themselves. In fact, aren’t these the very labels we proudly flaunt to the multitudes?

But it doesn’t stop there. Labelling continues with boss, employee, neighbour, acquaintance, friend, foe, boyfriend, girlfriend…

Websites such as My Space and Facebook have a lot to answer for. Such sites are guilty of spreading this epidemic of label overkill. The information page on Facebook requests you choose from the following labels, to describe your situation; single, in a relationship, married, engaged, it’s complicated, widowed and (can you believe this?), in an open relationship. :/

Why isn’t “none of the above” included?  Or “does it matter?” And really, whose business is it anyway? Oh, that’s right, Facebook are doing their “bit” to encourage “label overkill”, further spreading this epidemic.

In the interests of containing this disease I would like to suggest the following three points, as an alternative to labelling people.

  • Upon first meeting a new person, expect the best from them. Whether the meeting is in person, over the telephone, by email, Facebook, Twitter or anywhere on the World Wide Web, assume they will be pleasant and friendly towards you, right from the get-go. What you are expecting is always what you get!
  • Do not, under any circumstances, begin the immediate and endless process of mentally labelling people. Take your observations beyond the necessity of labels; see who the person really is ~ minus any form of labelling.
  • Display yourself to the world as an approachable, open, friendly, easy-to-get-along-with kind of soul, minus the necessity of any self-inflicted labels.

When first meeting a new person and if your two souls make a connection, as time progresses you will gradually learn more about your new friend.

What I find to be one of the most enjoyable aspects of meeting new people in any other manner than the regular “face to face” way is that quite often the personal communication begins long before you even know what the person looks like, therefore the ability to place a mental label upon someone, especially regarding age, race, marital status or looks, is not available to them, or you.

You actually have the opportunity to get to know a person, before any labelling process begins…the first connection being with their soul!

When the inevitable labels begin to appear, what would you have your label say about you? Would you prefer a list of all of your physical attributes, along with who you are to everyone else in your life? Or would your “label” be more of a personal encompassing of “who you really are”, emitting the rays of light and caring from your soul?

I know which one I would prefer. 🙂

advice · birthdays · challenges · Changes · daughter · happiness · knowledge

Happy Birthday…18 Year Old

One of my children will turn eighteen this year. Being born in the year 1992, by the time the day of her birthday arrives, the law of the land will pronounce she has permission to legally vote, purchase cigarettes, tobacco and lottery tickets, purchase and drink alcohol, enter clubs and bars, get married without parental permission and sign legal contracts.

To put it simply, at the age of seventeen years and three-hundred-and-sixty-four-days, she will be regarded as a dependent child. The very next day, she will have apparently made an overnight transformation into an adult.

Long gone are the days of “Coming of Age”, when the proud parents of the birthday boy or girl would ceremoniously present their “new adult” with the “Key to the Door” ~ when turning the age of twenty-one.

What exactly is the point of all of this grand-standing, pomp and ceremony, presented to the newly turned eighteen year old?

Did the magical fairy from “The Land of Eighteen” wave her magic wand over this child, whilst they slept, bestowing said child with all of the knowledge, wisdom and acumen they will need to carry them through this magical journey they are about to embark upon…called adulthood?

According to the law, the answer is yes…I, however, would beg to differ.

To all of my daughter’s friends, whether your birthday is today…tomorrow…this month…or this year, I wish you the absolute best of everything you could ever imagine, even in your wildest dreams, for the most magical life of your own creation…but don’t let any law fool you into believing your life begins today!

For your magical journey actually began eighteen years ago. And there is no final destination to this journey.

Did you realise that you were born with your very own in-built sense of knowledge, wisdom and adventure? Next time you meet a baby or a young child, look deeply into their eyes…there you will find the clarity and wisdom that us mere adults can only dream about!

The eyes are the window to the soul, and within a babies untainted eyes you will find all the wisdom of “knowing”.

You may not realise this, but you still have the very same natural wisdom you were born with, that same wisdom you see in the eyes of babies. But you may have forgotten that it was there all along.  You’ve probably just misplaced it somewhere, lost amongst the millions of words embedded inside your brain by family, friends, teachers, classmates, movies and TV shows.

In actual fact, the advice you give yourself is the best advice you will ever receive. Only you know what is best for you.

For your birthday, I wish you an abundance of realised wisdom, which will carry you safely along the Magical Road of Life.

All of the best advice ever given to me has been of a spiritual nature. If your spirit is well, the material side of life falls into place all on its own, without too much assistance from you. Therefore ~

  • Keep clarity of mind; stay focussed on the things you know are right for you.
  • Show kindness to others; even a simple smile goes a long way. 🙂
  • Show kindness to yourself; love for others begins with love for you.
  • Have a healthy strength of will; don’t be swayed by peer pressure.
  • Follow your own intuition; listen to your inner voice, it won’t lead you astray.
  • Follow you own dreams, not the dreams that others have for you.
  • Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; there are lessons to be learned, even in adversity.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff; when you grow older, you realise that the hassles in life are really all small stuff.
  • Learn how to say no. Ultimately, you don’t do either yourself, or anyone else any favours by saying “yes” when you really mean “no”.
  • Be true to yourself; decide what is right for you and make no compromises.

“I hope your Birthday gently breezes into your life all of the choicest of things and all that your heart holds dear”.

advice · Australia · basics · challenges · gardening · inspiration · Tweed Valley

A Local Discovery

Over the past few days, I have begun the task of scouring my local area for inspiration, namely the inspiration for food. The urge to do so was firstly inspired by watching such television shows as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s “River Cottage” series, Rick Stein’s “Food Heroes”, both British shows, along with Maggie Beer and Simon Bryant, host’s of the Australian TV show, “The Cook and the Chef”.

What these three TV shows have in common, apart from all being highly entertaining cooking shows, is the chef’s recommendations throughout the shows to purchase locally grown produce.

If you care to read through some of my previously posted articles, listed under the “gardening” category, you will note that I am a keen gardener and cook. My ultimate goal in the garden, hands down, is definitely to have the know-how and the means to grow all of the fresh produce for my own family’s consumption. While the task is not impossible, it is a work in progress. And we do have to eat in the meantime!

My home overlooks the Tweed Valley in New South Wales, Australia. From the back of our home, we look over hectare upon hectare of farmland, mainly growing sugar-cane, which is a major industry of the area.

Each year, a nearby town called Murwillumbah hosts the annual “Banana Festival”.  Yes, bananas are grown in my area too. But what it really comes down to, regardless of my home being surrounded by farmland, is the fact that it is not blaringly obvious what our local produce is, apart from sugarcane and banana growing!

I don’t know what you think, but I personally believe that a staple diet of bananas and sugar would be downright boring!

Further inspiration to take the matter further, in search of my own local produce arrived in an article written by a lovely lady called Robin, who lives in Ohio in the U.S.A. In her recent article, “The Chains That Bind”, Robin urges us all to discover what our own local areas have to offer, not only in regard to fresh produce, but also by investigating the local small businesses in our area. As Robin points out, supporting the economy begins at home.

Taking Robin’s advice on board, I set out on Tuesday, shopping list in hand, and, rather than making my first and only stop at the local supermarket, I headed into South Tweed Heads. A number of years ago, a bulk food warehouse had opened, and it had always been my intention to call in there…one day.  I never seemed to find the time. So, on Tuesday, I made time. (Rather than lack of time, in all honesty, I believe my tardiness was more so due to my being a creature of habit!)

Once inside the bulk foods store, I felt like a kid in a toyshop! Lines of tubs and containers of bulk food held every type of flour, sugar and legume imaginable…dried cranberries and blueberries, figs, dates, raisins, currants, dried pineapples, apricots, bananas, and the size of the glace cherries…can’t wait to make my Christmas cakes this year with the cherries they have there!

They sell both whole and shelled nuts, including pecans, walnuts, cashews, pine nuts, peanuts and almonds. There’s oats, honey oats, muesli’s, cornflakes, pepitas, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, tahina, molasses, the list goes on and on.

Although it was extremely tempting to buy a bit of everything, I showed amazing restraint and followed my shopping list. Amongst other items on my list this week, I had caster sugar, honey, borlotti beans and crystallised ginger, all of which they sold. My one and only purchase of temptation was a few soy crisps, just to try, as I know my children usually love the plain flavoured crisps. In this store, I could choose from three flavours ~ cheese, sweet chilli and Dijon mustard.  They were a hit! I’ll be back for more this weekend.

Imagine my amazement when I discovered not one, but two Tweed Valley honeys to choose from! The one I chose is a beautifully rich brown coloured syrupy delight, with a tea-tree flavour.

Not only is the range of food available at this store the most extensive I have found in years, it is much cheaper to buy, per kilo, than at the supermarket! Another bonus!

If you haven’t already done so, why not investigate your own local area to see what treasures you may find?

For me, it is just the beginning of this adventure. I can hardly wait to see what else is here, right on my doorstep and yet to be discovered. 🙂

This weekend, my adventures will continue, at our local Farmer’s Markets!

advice · freedom · gratitude · happiness · inspiration

A Sumptuously Sunny Sunday

The warm winter sun has promised yet another deliciously delectable day. The birds are chirping their happy little morning tunes while the trees are luxuriating in a gently blowing breeze.

No more appropriate words could describe the day. It’s just another Sumptuously Sunny Sunday!

And what words spring to your mind at the mere mention of the word Sunday?

Rest, recreation, relaxation.

Family, frolicking, fanciful.

Carefree, casual, children.

How will I spend my day? Maybe I will read for a while, after I have completed a few rows of knitting. I will drink coffee, whilst reading and knitting.

A drive to the beach would be nice. I’ll see if anyone wants to take the trip with me. Maybe we’ll go to the beach with the lighthouse.

During the afternoon, I could bake a cake. I’ll choose one that the whole family enjoys.

We’ll have something nice for dinner tonight, maybe roast meat, with roasted vegetables and crispy potatoes.

I’ll look through my dessert recipes and make something special for us all.

Master twelve’s winter holidays will be over this week. He goes back to school on Tuesday and will enjoy a family day.

Take my advise; help yourself, whenever possible, to your very own Sumptuously Sunny Sunday. 🙂

SUNDAY

S ometimes, every once in a while,

U (you) just have to have a day to yourself, a day when you

N eed to relax; to be selfish, a day to do exactly what you want to do. A

D ay for you! And when the sun sets on your day, when you have allowed yourself this break,

A nd you remember the challenges awaiting you in the week ahead,

Y ou will be feeling relaxed, confident and ready to take on the world!