I must be old enough.
My four children mean the world to me. That’s one of the most consistent things I have noticed among my blogging friends too, we all adore our “babies”. They grow up to adulthood, remaining our babies, but they never fully understanding the depth and strength of the love we have in our hearts for them. They don’t realise the lengths we would go to either, to make sure they are happy. If there is anything we can do for them, we are there. No questions asked. We would move mountains for the children we love so dearly.
Over the years of my parenthood, I have occasionally attempted to explain to my offspring exactly how I feel about them, always failing to do so successfully, and ending by telling them that when they have a child of their own, then they will understand. That’s when they will feel how my love for them feels.
I often hear of parents, when their children reach a certain age, pressuring their children with questions of when, exactly, will they be made a grandparent. I have never subscribed to this form of questioning. To my way of thinking, it hints slightly toward emotional blackmail. I want, with every ounce of mother-love in me, for my grandchildren to come along when their parents are ready for their arrival. Not when I am ready.
Before my first child was conceived, I had a little spirit child visiting me. I heard his laughter, and could smell the sweet scent of baby in my home. I knew this dear little soul had chosen me to be his mother, and when he was only a few months old, and I heard his laughter, the same laughter I had heard “before”, it confirmed for me what my heart already knew.
During the busyness of life in the ensuing years, as I have happily worn the label of Mum of Four, my instincts have, many, many times, fallen by the way-side. I haven’t stayed in tune as much with my intuition. It has only been in more recent years, as my children have grown, that I have begun again to trust those instincts, remembering the little “hunches”, heeding the words and sounds that arrive in my mind, unannounced, (like the beautiful laughter of my first child,) and noticing, and really paying attention, to the images of what is to come.
For some time now, when asked if I have any grandchildren, my standing response has been, “I’m too young to be a grandmother”, and I believe with all my heart that my statement is the truth. Only when my children decide for themselves to have a child of their own, will I be old enough.
But a few months ago, something happened. An image, which I can only liken to the laughter I once heard over thirty years ago, appeared in my mind. Two little girls, twins, with curly blond hair.
One day in particular, when walking around some land with two of my children, where one of them intends building a home of their own, I looked at a large tree, with a solid branch extending out of one side, and saw, in my minds-eye, an image of my grandchildren, laughing, and playing on a swing, which had been attached to the tree branch.
That same day, my husband was at home, gardening. And he was puzzled. He felt that there was a child with him, helping in the garden. And when he told me he didn’t know who it was, that he didn’t know of any children in the spirit world, without hesitation I told him that it was our grandchild. And he understood. It felt right.
And we suspected that there is more than one little spirit child, making their choices. A new generation is being planned.
That all happened last year. Nothing further eventuated, until a few weeks ago. As I sat at my sewing machine, meditating, as I do whilst sewing, (I don’t know how else to describe the wanderings of my mind as I sew!) I began to plan what I would make for the baby, for Christmas….meaning this Christmas….could it be….???
….and a few days later, during an emotional announcement, I had occasion to tell my child to prepare their heart for the most overwhelming, unconditional love that they could ever in their lifetime expect to feel, when they see their own child, for the first time, in November.
So, I guess I must now be old enough. 🙂
It’s still early days. An ultra-sound, tomorrow, will give the estimated due date of the little walnut sized being, who has chosen us, our family, my child, to live through a lifetime with. It will also establish whether there is just one, or two little walnuts developing.
With complete certainty, I can tell you that this little baby (or babies) is/are loved, unconditionally, completely, already. Other grandma, much younger than me, is thrilled to bits at the news as well, as are all the great, and great-great grandparents! Aunties and uncles are beaming, cousins are excited. This baby will be born into one great big bubble of love.
This baby has chosen their parents well. 🙂
Update ~ I wrote the above yesterday. The ultrasound has confirmed one baby, with a due date of November 23rd.
More to follow….much more. ❤