A Sense of Spirit · blessings · Changes · gratitude · happiness

I must be old enough.

???????????????????????????????My four children mean the world to me. That’s one of the most consistent things I have noticed among my blogging friends too, we all adore our “babies”. They grow up to adulthood, remaining our babies, but they never fully understanding the depth and strength of the love we have in our hearts for them. They don’t realise the lengths we would go to either, to make sure they are happy. If there is anything we can do for them, we are there. No questions asked. We would move mountains for the children we love so dearly.

Over the years of my parenthood, I have occasionally attempted to explain to my offspring exactly how I feel about them, always failing to do so successfully, and ending by telling them that when they have a child of their own, then they will understand. That’s when they will feel how my love for them feels.

I often hear of parents, when their children reach a certain age, pressuring their children with questions of when, exactly, will they be made a grandparent. I have never subscribed to this form of questioning. To my way of thinking, it hints slightly toward emotional blackmail. I want, with every ounce of mother-love in me, for my grandchildren to come along when their parents are ready for their arrival. Not when I am ready.

Before my first child was conceived, I had a little spirit child visiting me. I heard his laughter, and could smell the sweet scent of baby in my home. I knew this dear little soul had chosen me to be his mother, and when he was only a few months old, and I heard his laughter, the same laughter I had heard “before”, it confirmed for me what my heart already knew.

During the busyness of life in the ensuing years, as I have happily worn the label of Mum of Four, my instincts have, many, many times, fallen by the way-side. I haven’t stayed in tune as much with my intuition. It has only been in more recent years, as my children have grown, that I have begun again to trust those instincts, remembering the little “hunches”, heeding the words and sounds that arrive in my mind, unannounced, (like the beautiful laughter of my first child,) and noticing, and really paying attention, to the images of what is to come.

For some time now, when asked if I have any grandchildren, my standing response has been, “I’m too young to be a grandmother”, and I believe with all my heart that my statement is the truth. Only when my children decide for themselves to have a child of their own, will I be old enough.

But a few months ago, something happened. An image, which I can only liken to the laughter I once heard over thirty years ago, appeared in my mind. Two little girls, twins, with curly blond hair.

One day in particular, when walking around some land with two of my children, where one of them intends building a home of their own, I looked at a large tree, with a solid branch extending out of one side, and saw, in my minds-eye, an image of my grandchildren, laughing, and playing on a swing, which had been attached to the tree branch.

That same day, my husband was at home, gardening. And he was puzzled. He felt that there was a child with him, helping in the garden. And when he told me he didn’t know who it was, that he didn’t know of any children in the spirit world, without hesitation I told him that it was our grandchild. And he understood. It felt right.

And we suspected that there is more than one little spirit child, making their choices. A new generation is being planned.

That all happened last year. Nothing further eventuated, until a few weeks ago. As I sat at my sewing machine, meditating, as I do whilst sewing, (I don’t know how else to describe the wanderings of my mind as I sew!) I began to plan what I would make for the baby, for Christmas….meaning this Christmas….could it be….???

….and a few days later, during an emotional announcement, I had occasion to tell my child to prepare their heart for the most overwhelming, unconditional love that they could ever in their lifetime expect to feel, when they see their own child, for the first time, in November.

So, I guess I must now be old enough. 🙂

It’s still early days. An ultra-sound, tomorrow, will give the estimated due date of the little walnut sized being, who has chosen us, our family, my child, to live through a lifetime with. It will also establish whether there is just one, or two little walnuts developing.

With complete certainty, I can tell you that this little baby (or babies) is/are loved, unconditionally, completely, already. Other grandma, much younger than me, is thrilled to bits at the news as well, as are all the great, and great-great grandparents! Aunties and uncles are beaming, cousins are excited. This baby will be born into one great big bubble of love.

This baby has chosen their parents well. 🙂


Update ~ I wrote the above yesterday. The ultrasound has confirmed one baby, with a due date of November 23rd.

More to follow….much more.




A Sense of Spirit · concepts · inspiration · new · new beginnings · reading

A Manifesto.

Manifesto for a simple life


The definition of a manifesto is “a public declaration of intentions”…..

I found this manifesto just a few days ago, and these words, along with so many others I have been reading lately, jumped off the page at me.

This is my own personal manifesto for 2015. I won’t be over thinking the possibilities, the words were discovered for me, and when you know withing your heart and soul that something is right, no questions need be asked, no debate entered into ~ so here they are.

Due to “eating less”, I have not eaten anything since breakfast time, and my stomach is growling, so I will now “move more” to the kitchen, for a quick snack, after which I will continue moving, you know, chores to be done….but I have been giving my word for this year a huge amount of feeling, and will share thoughts and words that have led me to the choice soon…..

Have you ever chosen a manifesto?


A Sense of Spirit · authenticity · Changes · friends · gratitude

A week has passed….

Wednesday's Sunset.
Wednesday’s Sunset.

A week ago today was a very different day to this Saturday. I can’t say that it has been the easiest week I have ever lived through, but I have survived, albeit with a hole in my heart where by beautiful Tess once lived. I simply can’t bring myself to write about the day again. On Sunday last week I added a brief summary of events to my blipfoto journal ~

“And so a new day begins, without our beautiful girl and the house and garden seem so quiet and still….

Josh, a close friend going back to childhood days, of my son Ben, who is now a vet, came to our home and helped Tess to end her suffering. We took her to a place in the garden where she loved to sit, an area of lawn near to the pool, and she lay there quietly as if she knew what was to come.

Josh was a God-send with his gentle voice and manner. Tess’s acceptance of what was to be, and being there with my two sons and husband as Tess gently closed her eyes was a beautiful end to our dear fury girl’s life. Tess now joins our other fury friends, our three other dogs, Sire, Bear and Nellie and our cat, Sunny, in the pet graveyard, in the garden beside the pool.”

The next day, we bought an azalea, and this is what I wrote on blipfoto the following day ~

“The back garden is so big and empty today and the veranda, where Tess’s bed once lay with her on it are both gone. And my mind has gone to mush. Even as I dressed myself this morning, I thought, “the last time I wore these clothes, Tess was still with us”. I know, it’s pathetic, and I have sewing to do for children who start back at school next week. What will the children wear to school if I don’t pull my finger out and get sewing?

I know this mopey feeling will pass. It’s just all so new right now, not having her around…

Yesterday we went looking for a plant to mark her grave and found a very pretty Azalea. Her grave is in a shady area, not far from two frangipani trees, so it will be a very lovely area when the garden there is completed.”

Tess's Azalea.
Tess’s Azalea.

I wrote these two passages on the day that they happened and I still ache inside as I re-read the words I wrote. I simply cannot write new words, so I hope you will forgive me for taking the easy road and adding what was already written.

Sweet Grand-Puppy, Bella.
Sweet Grand-Puppy, Bella.

But life goes on….my grand-puppy Bella, a gentle and affectionate Border Collie, has spent some days with me this week. She is a beautiful companion and she has made me laugh so many times. Bella being here has shown me that their is life after Tess, that I can love again.

Already, I know who my next puppy will be and I know her name. I see her face in my mind’s eye. She will find me when the time is right, but that time is not now. I think she will find me in a few months time, after my still-raw wounds of the heart have been given some time to heal.

My word for 2014 is Authentic. I could pretend that I’m feeling just fine, but in keeping with my word, I can’t, I wont pretend. I know that we made the right decision to let Tess sleep, that she is now running around the big field in the sky with her friend Nellie and that we will meet again one day. But it still hurts to lose her. I need time.

I thought I was okay, but my eyes are welling with tears again as I type. I know this will pass, but obviously there are still a few more tears that need to escape my eyes. When I think of all the kind and comforting messages my blogging and blipfoto friends have left me during the last week, again my eyes fill with tears, but tears of a different kind. These tears are those of gratitude for the kindness shown to me by so many people, people who I have mostly never met in person, yet I have been enveloped by hugs of kindness through the internet waves.

Thank you, my friends. ❤

Rest well, my Tess. ❤

authenticity · freedom · happiness · inspiration · new beginnings

An Authentic Life


For over a week now I have pondered my first post for 2014, knowing what is in my heart, but where to find the words, I contemplated?

I should never have bothered my brain, as the words arrived by magic in the form of an email this morning, from Rhonda Byrne, creator of The Secret.

“The New Year’s Resolution That Will Change Your Life

There’s one simple message that’s threaded through my books, and it’s the most important message anyone can hear if they want 2014 to be the best year of their life.

Do whatever you can to feel good, because when you feel good, life will be good. The better you feel, the better life will get! Think about, talk about, and focus on the areas of your life that make you feel good, and temporarily keep off the subjects that don’t make you feel good. When you do this one simple thing, everything in your life will get better, whether that’s better relationships, health, money, or better circumstances with your job. Nothing in your life can ever improve until you feel better, and when you feel better, everything will improve. Make feeling as good as you can your number one priority for 2014, and it will be the best year of your life!” ~ Rhonda Byrne.


……which brings me to the point of why I needed these words.

For the last few years I have considered, rather than making New Years Resolutions, what would my theme be for the coming year? Some years, the word I am searching for simply pops into my mind unannounced, other years I have floundered around, searching for my word, without any luck. It always arrives eventually, when I have forgotten my desperation for such a word and I least expect to ever discover it.


“As you become more aligned with the truth of who you are, the question of liking yourself goes away. It is a natural state of being.” ~ Rachel Archelaus

This time, the word arrived during December, unannounced, without even so much as a tap on the door of my subconscious mind. It arrived disguised as a feeling, a longing, a simple knowing that this is the direction my life must always take.

My word steered me, ever so gently, into the feelings of knowing that from that day forth and forever more, I must live my life as an authentic human being. So you see, my actual word for 2014 found me and began to weave its magic at some time during December, or, I began my authentic life at that time rather than awaiting January 1. Which came first, the date or the word, is of no consequence, and I don’t remember the date, for it flowed smoothly into my life and took hold of its helm.


Rhonda Byrne’s words resonate with my soul ~ do whatever you can to feel good ~ I feel good when I am living my life as the real me, the authentic me, the person I am when I stop trying to be what I perceive others believe I am, the person I was as a child before other well meaning beings decided what I should be and began steering my life for me.

That last train of thought rattles my equilibrium, so I will banish it from my brain. Old thoughts, old habits, old perceptions, must go, if I wish to improve the content of my life as another year unfolds.

“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You…Be Free…Share.” ~ Steve Maraboli


I already know, from both endless reading on the subject and having lived on this earth for over half a century (my god, I sound old!) that if you yourself are not happy, no one around you will be either. Happiness breeds happiness ~ isn’t that a comforting thought? It is so much easier to be happy than it is not to be and the condition is contagious!


The following check-list that I came across recently poses the question “do you love yourself?” and asks are you…

* Following your heart’s desire.
* Taking care of your own needs.
* Taking responsibility for your life and happiness.
* Treating yourself with gentleness and kindness.
* Laughing often.
* Being yourself inwardly and outwardly.
* Spending time with people who make you feel good and limiting the time you spend with                  people who don’t.
* Forgiving yourself for what you perceive you’ve done wrong or haven’t done.
* Accepting yourself the way you are.
* Allowing love into your life.
* Spending regular time having fun and playing.

All of the above options are available to anyone, with just a simple adjustment of mindset and a touch of determination. It’s a way of life, not a grand announcement. No one need be hurt in the pursuing of one’s dreams of authenticity and any souls who cannot cope with the reality (of you becoming authentically you) will exit the stage of your life over time. I know this, therefore tolerance to change is also required.


“How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people. What is true is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery


If I am to be completely honest, which is a prerequisite to being authentic, I have edged my way toward authenticity for many years already. It’s a habit, just as surely as any way we choose to live.

I’d really love to hear everyone’s thoughts on 2014. Have you a chosen word which will steer the course of your world throughout the year? This year has a positive feel about it to me, for no other reason than it’s just the way I feel!