Tag: postaday2011

advice · daughter · friends

Friendships ~ Knowing When to Stay and When to Go

Joanne1 Comment

The world is made up of all kinds of people; different races, cultures, males and females, but we are all born the same….aren’t we?

Perhaps not.

Take the subject of friendships, for example.

What is the definition of a good friend?

Caring, trustworthy, truthful,  loyal….

Take loyalty, for example.

How should we define loyalty?

Can a friend not display enough loyalty?

Can there ever be too much loyalty in a friendship?

Personally, I was born loyal. I do not believe anyone ever sat me down and told me, “Jo, you must be loyal to prove you are a good friend”.

Over the years I have become aware that there are those who could, in fact, benefit from an explanation of loyalty in a friendship….they have none.

So, what type of a friend is a disloyal friend?

Where do you draw the invisible line between the right amount of loyalty, and too much loyalty?

In other words ~ When is the right time to stand by your friends and when do you know when the time has come to move on?

Those who have known me well throughout my life regard me as loyal and I have been proud to wear that label. It has even been said that if Jack the Ripper were my best friend, I would stand by him!

With age comes wisdom, and you are never too old to learn a thing or two.

Even from those much younger than yourself.

Even from your own children.

I stand in total awe and admiration of one of my children. They are so young. They have so much to learn, and yet they have taught me that there comes a time when you have to say, “enough is enough” and turn your back on a friend.

Loyalty can be pushed to the limits and then it can break, because of a very important component in the game of friendship.

The Golden Rule ~ Loyalty must go both ways between friends. If the loyalty is heading only in one direction, it isn’t a true friendship.

In the past, especially as a young person, I have timidly backed away from a friend when I have noticed the signs that the friendship is coming to an end, waiting for some sign to show me that they were just having a bad day, had an argument with another friend…you fill in the “what if’s” here. What I’m saying is, I would accept any excuse they gave me. And believe it! (How gullible!!)

That sweet, sweet child of mine, the one who can teach me as many new things as I can teach her, has shown such loyalty to her friends throughout her life that she has given me massive amounts of pride in her behaviour, especially in this day and age, when teenage friendships can appear so superficial.

And if and when the time comes, she knows when to walk away.

She never looks back. Ever.

No amount of cajoling, apologies, sweet smiles or excuses will sway her opinion. She never looks back, not even for a quick peek, just to check if her now former friend is okay.

The loyalty must go both ways for her….

A very close friend may get a second chance. But two strikes and they’re gone!

Forever.

And therein, I believe, lies the answer to the question ~

How do you know when to stay and when to go?

Ask yourself the questions, “Am I being shown the same loyalty that I am bestowing upon my friend?….and….

Is my friend being truthful with me?

If the answer is “no” to these two question ~ walk away. Don’t look back.

(Clue – you can’t have one of the above questions with a yes answer and the other a no. That’s not possible!)

My child has taught me well. I have learned the lesson well.

So, Jack the Ripper, if you are reading this, you are no longer my friend! 😉

floods · Mum · Tweed Valley

My Country

Joanne6 Comments

There’s been an awful lot of rain in my part of the world lately; rain, along with cooler temperatures.

Some areas of Queensland have flooded, while others are on flood alert.

The roads in northern New South Wales, where I live, are full of pot-holes. Apparently, the Tweed has been listed as a disaster area.

The rain is predicted to continue. Already it has been gauged that Australia has just had the wettest spring on record. Many of the dams throughout the country are full to overflowing.

An Australian politician has even declared, “This is a disaster of biblical proportions”.

Is there any good news?

Okay world, that all sounds like bad news. So how about some good news? Isn’t this a blog about “Everyday Inspirations”?

Yes, we’ve had a lot of rain, mostly in the sub-tropics (where I live) and further north in the tropics.

It’s summer, the cyclone season, the wet weather season. This is typical summer’s weather for these parts.

What isn’t typical is the cooler temperatures. Do you hear me complaining? Not a chance! We get enough heat in summer, on a regular basis. These cooler days are pure luxury!

The dams are overflowing. For many years, up until just recently, most areas that I know of, on the eastern side of Australia at least, have experienced water restrictions, due to drought. Livestock and plants have gone to God, due to lack of water.

We should be dancing and rejoicing in the rain!

The rain has prevented the usual outbreak of raging fires throughout the country. Hallelujah!

Has it always been this way?

During my lifetime I have lived through both fires and floods. My family was evacuated from our home when I was ten years old. We lived in the Blue Mountains of New South Wales, an area prone to fires.

From nature’s point of view, fire is necessary to rejuvenate the bush!

From a human point of view, fire is destructive. It takes lives. It burns down houses. My Godmother and a close friend’s home were both destroyed in the aforementioned fires, but they survived. So I’m thankful.

When choosing an area to live in, isn’t it wise to find out if flooding is likely to occur? Or if the area is prone to bushfires? Or if venomous snakes have been sighted in your area? Or if the local aeroplane flight path goes over your home? Or if the during the burning of the sugar cane, ash is likely to litter your back yard?

That’s Australia.

Australia is Australia. It’s a harsh country. And that is the way it’s always been.

One of the most famous Australian poems is “My Country”, written by Australian born Dorothea Mackellar in the early 1900’s.

A rather lengthy poem, containing six verses, Dorothea began writing the poem in 1904, during a bout of home sickness. She was travelling through England and Europe and missing her homeland.

The poem was first published in the “London Spectator” in 1908, by its original title, “Core of my Heart”. It was republished in Australia at a later date and has been a favourite with Australian’s ever since.

The first verse of the poem refers to England. This is the second, and most famous verse of “My Country”.

“I love a sunburnt country,

A land of sweeping plains

Of ragged mountain ranges

Of droughts and flooding rains.

I love her far horizons

I love her jewel sea,

Her beauty, and her terror ~

The wide brown land for me!”

~ Dorothea MacKellar (1885-1968)

If you would like to read the full version of “My Country”, it can be found on the Official Dorothea Mackellar Website.

Wikipedia also has further background history to the poem, along with information on Dorothea Mackellar herself here.

A Diverse Climate.

Australia has always had, and no doubt always will have, a very diverse climate. When you call Australia home, you learn to live with it, you get used to it, and yes, you love it!

P.S. The photo credit for today goes to my Mum. Yes, that’s a fifteen year old “me”, as my family prepared to batten down the hatches at the store we owned, in Murwillumbah, Northern N.S.W.

I was heading to our neighbouring business, (either to ask for or offer help, I don’t remember which). The river, only approximately 50 metres away was predicted to break its banks at any time.

My mother’s contribution during this time of crisis? Taking photos for posterity, of course! (I wish she were still here today to thank her!) 🙂

freedom · gratitude

My Year of Freedom and Gratitude

Joanne4 Comments

“To be grateful for “what is” has been my personal path to freedom. When I stop to allow and fully accept the reality of this current moment ~ NOW ~ a calmness and centeredness is revealed and available to me.” ~ Morthern Spears

Over the past few days I have read a lot about choosing a personal theme for this year; finding a word, or perhaps a phrase, which you can focus on throughout the year.

I suppose another way of putting it is to say your word should represent something you would like to achieve this year, something you hold dear to your heart.

Your word should represent the change and improvement you would like to achieve for yourself during 2011.

After much contemplation, I have decided that my own personal theme for this year will be “freedom”.

I must admit that freedom actually became my focus during the latter half of last year. In fact, when I contribute articles to the Calm Space, they are listed under “Freedom Space”. It therefore seems most fitting that I make it my year to have freedom uppermost in my mind, as I travel through this year.

There is so much more freedom to be achieved.

One of my main focuses in my quest for freedom is to live in the moment, therefore…

I choose to freely cut the strings that have tied me to past habits I have formed in my life.

With faith in the future, knowing that events will unfold around me in just the way they are meant to unfold, I need never worry myself about the future.

My focus will be trained upon the here and now, savouring the reality of the current moment as each new and wonderful event reveals itself to me.

And, most importantly, keeping my eyes wide open, I will show gratitude for all of the Everyday Inspirations I find in my life, recording their appearance to me in my Gratitude Diary.

I give myself permission to live a life embraced by freedom.

What about you? Have you given any thought to how you would like 2011 to unfold?

It’s not too late to forget the past, let the future take care of itself and centre your thoughts in the moment. Listen to your heart. What is it saying to you? Listen carefully, as your heart will speak to you, letting you know what it is you most desire from this year….from life.

friends · gardening · gratitude · happiness

Feathered Friends…and Fears!

JoanneLeave a comment
Young Magpie

Going back to the beginning of time, for myself at least, I have always been afraid of birds.

Ornithophobia ~ the fear of birds.

As a general rule, ornithophobia is brought about by an unpleasant experience, perhaps as a child, involving birds, such as being attacked in some way or pecked badly when feeding birds at a picnic in a park.

If the fear is left unchecked it can, apparently, lead to fear of leaving the home (agoraphobia). The ornithophobia sufferer could possibly fear an unexpected encounter with their feathered enemies, therefore wishing to stay within the safe confines of their home.

Another theory for the cause of ornithophobia is when a child has lived with a parent who has an extreme fear of birds and this fear is passed onto the child.

Which of the above gave me my own fear of birds?

None of them!

I haven’t even seen the Alfred Hitchcock/Daphne du Maurier movie “The Birds”!

There is not a single bad bird experience in my early life to relate!

And both of my parents loved birds!

The strange thing is, there is no logical reason for my fear.

However I do recall, as a child, having nightmares which had me waking up all a-tremble, in which birds were flapping their feathers around me!

During my teenage years, a friend suggested that my fear may not be of birds, but rather feathers.

Pteronophobia ~ the fear of feathers.

Pteronophobia (please don’t ask me how to pronounce the word!) is believed to have the sufferer in fear of being near feathers, being tickled by feathers and even afraid to use a feather duster!

Um, I’ve always loved collecting feathers, find the gentleness of feathers against my skin very soothing and have never given my feather duster any further thought other than knowing  it will dust my furniture successfully!

As a result of my fear….

…I have never owned a bird as a pet.

Never, that is, until August last year, when a pretty little feathered fellow, with the most beautiful personality and expressive eyes, won my heart. You can read the story of the first bird I have ever owned here.

So much for the theories!

I’m afraid that I’m not a typical example of a recovering ornithophobic or pteronophic person. The extreme fear of being around birds was most certainly real, although it has never caused problems in my life. There was no explanation for my fear and I have never felt the need to seek professional advice to overcome my fear.

How is ornithophobia and pteronophobia treated?

It is suggested that the sufferer confronts their fear and is taught some positive self-talk. Relaxation and meditation are recommended to curb their anxiety. Hypnosis and medication may even be recommended.

How did I overcome my fear of birds?

Gradually, unexpectedly, and without even trying!

During the last three years I have spent hours, which have turned into days and even weeks, out in my garden, alone ~ planting, digging, weeding, mulching, watering, pruning ~ with a family of magpies standing nearby, chortling to me and quietly walking so close to me when my back has been turned that I could have reached down and touched them!

They are not afraid of me!

The magpies have talked to me in their own very intelligent bird language. At times, I have been certain that I know exactly what they are telling me!

The adult birds bring their baby birds to me, asking for titbits of food from my kitchen. They are so trusting and tame that I’m sure they would allow me to hand feed them, in the same way I hand feed my own little pet bird, Charlie.

Gratitude for my new friends and their habitat.

Just as surely as nothing in particular, (that I can put my finger on anyway,) gave me the fear of birds, my fear has vanished.

As I have pottered the hours away quietly working in my garden, appreciating every brightly coloured flower and butterfly, the industrious bees and warmth of the sun, I have felt no fear.

My garden is a safe, enjoyable haven.

Perhaps my calm and appreciative demeanour has been evident to the birds, who have happily shared their “home” with me, sensing the happiness I have felt within my surroundings with their own “sixth sense”.

Whatever the reason is for overcoming my fear of birds, I’m just happy that it happened! 🙂

Australia · friends

A Most Unlikely Friendship

Joanne2 Comments

During the month of October last year, the theme at the Calm Space was “Courage”.

As a regular contributor to the Calm Space, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to share a story I had heard of, via the internet, about two men and their pet lion, Christian.

The editor of the Calm Space, the lovely Káren Wallace, is in holiday mode throughout January, as here in Australia nearly the whole of the month is devoted to school holidays, hot weather and recovering from Christmas!

Káren and her family have a busy month personally, with birthdays and anniversary celebrations, plus moving house, so it is an ideal opportunity for Káren to rerun some favourite articles which have featured over the last three years.

Today, I have decided to follow in Káren’s footsteps and rerun one of my own favourite articles, “Finding the Courage to Let Go”.

The story of Christian the Lion is one of yes, courage, and also love, devotion, loyalty and friendship.

While you are over at the Calm Space, have a browse through the inspiring articles you will find there. Káren makes her readers feel right at home with her own warm, friendly, chatty articles.

I promise you will leave her site feeling rejuvenated and ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead for you!