An Authentic Life

January 2, 2014 Joanne17 Comments

For over a week now I have pondered my first post for 2014, knowing what is in my heart, but where to find the words, I contemplated?

I should never have bothered my brain, as the words arrived by magic in the form of an email this morning, from Rhonda Byrne, creator of The Secret.

“The New Year’s Resolution That Will Change Your Life

There’s one simple message that’s threaded through my books, and it’s the most important message anyone can hear if they want 2014 to be the best year of their life.

Do whatever you can to feel good, because when you feel good, life will be good. The better you feel, the better life will get! Think about, talk about, and focus on the areas of your life that make you feel good, and temporarily keep off the subjects that don’t make you feel good. When you do this one simple thing, everything in your life will get better, whether that’s better relationships, health, money, or better circumstances with your job. Nothing in your life can ever improve until you feel better, and when you feel better, everything will improve. Make feeling as good as you can your number one priority for 2014, and it will be the best year of your life!” ~ Rhonda Byrne.

……which brings me to the point of why I needed these words.

For the last few years I have considered, rather than making New Years Resolutions, what would my theme be for the coming year? Some years, the word I am searching for simply pops into my mind unannounced, other years I have floundered around, searching for my word, without any luck. It always arrives eventually, when I have forgotten my desperation for such a word and I least expect to ever discover it.

“As you become more aligned with the truth of who you are, the question of liking yourself goes away. It is a natural state of being.” ~ Rachel Archelaus

This time, the word arrived during December, unannounced, without even so much as a tap on the door of my subconscious mind. It arrived disguised as a feeling, a longing, a simple knowing that this is the direction my life must always take.

My word steered me, ever so gently, into the feelings of knowing that from that day forth and forever more, I must live my life as an authentic human being. So you see, my actual word for 2014 found me and began to weave its magic at some time during December, or, I began my authentic life at that time rather than awaiting January 1. Which came first, the date or the word, is of no consequence, and I don’t remember the date, for it flowed smoothly into my life and took hold of its helm.

Rhonda Byrne’s words resonate with my soul ~ do whatever you can to feel good ~ I feel good when I am living my life as the real me, the authentic me, the person I am when I stop trying to be what I perceive others believe I am, the person I was as a child before other well meaning beings decided what I should be and began steering my life for me.

That last train of thought rattles my equilibrium, so I will banish it from my brain. Old thoughts, old habits, old perceptions, must go, if I wish to improve the content of my life as another year unfolds.

“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You…Be Free…Share.” ~ Steve Maraboli

I already know, from both endless reading on the subject and having lived on this earth for over half a century (my god, I sound old!) that if you yourself are not happy, no one around you will be either. Happiness breeds happiness ~ isn’t that a comforting thought? It is so much easier to be happy than it is not to be and the condition is contagious!

The following check-list that I came across recently poses the question “do you love yourself?” and asks are you…

* Following your heart’s desire.
* Taking care of your own needs.
* Taking responsibility for your life and happiness.
* Treating yourself with gentleness and kindness.
* Laughing often.
* Being yourself inwardly and outwardly.
* Spending time with people who make you feel good and limiting the time you spend with people who don’t.
* Forgiving yourself for what you perceive you’ve done wrong or haven’t done.
* Accepting yourself the way you are.
* Allowing love into your life.
* Spending regular time having fun and playing.

All of the above options are available to anyone, with just a simple adjustment of mindset and a touch of determination. It’s a way of life, not a grand announcement. No one need be hurt in the pursuing of one’s dreams of authenticity and any souls who cannot cope with the reality (of you becoming authentically you) will exit the stage of your life over time. I know this, therefore tolerance to change is also required.

“How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people. What is true is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

If I am to be completely honest, which is a prerequisite to being authentic, I have edged my way toward authenticity for many years already. It’s a habit, just as surely as any way we choose to live.

I’d really love to hear everyone’s thoughts on 2014. Have you a chosen word which will steer the course of your world throughout the year? This year has a positive feel about it to me, for no other reason than it’s just the way I feel!

A Sense of Spirit · birthdays · gardening · Mum · sisters

My Sister’s Garden

August 30, 2013 Joanne8 Comments

On the morning of Monday, the 30th of August, 1993, I dropped my son off at school, saw my daughter into her pre school-class and with my nine month old baby I visited my mother for the last time. Mum had lapsed into a coma on the Saturday afternoon so we knew the end was near. Up to that particular morning, before leaving my mother’s bedside I could only say to her “see you later”. The thought of never seeing her again terrified me. On this day, twenty years ago today, before leaving her room I noticed a pulse beating in her neck, she was still alive. Then I said the words I had feared ~ “Goodbye Mum”, yet the words came easily; it was time for me to let her go. Later I was told that a nurse saw me leave the room. She went in to check on my mum ~ she had gone.

Today, as I think of my mother, the angel and guide of my life for the past twenty years, I would love to take you all for a walk with me around the beautiful garden of another very important woman in my life, one who also lost a part of her own soul twenty years ago today, my sister, Vivien.

“Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . . ” ~ Memory from the Musical “Cats”, one of Mum’s favourite songs.

Cows across the road from Vivi's home. Such a beautiful view from her front door. — Cows across the road from Vivi’s home, grazing by the river. Such a beautiful view from her front door.

Having three sisters, all of whom were substantially older than me, may have robbed me of the fun times as a child of having sister’s for playmates, but the blessing it gave me was the joy of having three extra “mothers”.

Vivi is my closest sister in age, she is twelve years older than me, and it was Vivi who mothered me the most throughout the years when I was growing up. We even went through a stage when she spent a considerable amount of time yelling at me, as I rebelled against her when I was a teenager! Now that’s real love…. 🙂

....we can read a story together. — ….we can read a story together.

My own children adore their auntie. My youngest son Adam said to me recently “there’s nothing to not like about Auntie Vivi”, and I totally agree with him, she’s just wonderful.

A very pretty bird, one which I don't see at my place. — A very pretty bird, one which I don’t see at my place.

If my sister lived closer I would definitely see her more often. Vivi lives six hours drive south of me, so when Adam and I took our trip down south in late June I planned it so that we would be at Vivi’s place to help her celebrate her birthday this year.

This is a bird that stays put in Vivi's garden. — This is a bird that stays put in Vivi’s garden.

One of Vivi’s sons, his wife and two children came around for dinner. Vivi had asked for take-away Chinese food, which she doesn’t have very often, for her birthday meal so she wouldn’t have to cook on her birthday, so that’s what we had.

Vivi is a fantastic cook and can throw together a delicious meal in no time at all! As a child I loved sleep-overs at Vivi’s home as her meals were yummy, her beds were always soft and comfy and we did fun things together, like cooking and going shopping.

During another visit to my sister’s home just over two years ago, her grandson told me about all the fun things he and his grandma do together when he visits her. It was like deja vu for me to hear him speak. “I used to do those things with your grandma when I was a little girl too!” I told him. I’m not sure that he could quite grasp the concept of the age difference between me and Vivi though, and why I was a child when she was an adult!

Every garden needs at least one bird bath.

The day I took these photos it was raining although the dampness did not put a dampener on the calm atmosphere in the garden, if anything the duller natural light and the raindrops created an even more ambient atmosphere. I can imagine how beautiful it must be on a sunny day. These photos were taken on a wet, midwinter’s day.

Vivi isn't a huge cat lover, so instead of Puss in Boots" she has "Frogs in Boots". — Vivi isn’t a huge cat lover, so instead of “Puss in Boots” she has “Frogs in Boots”.

I am definitely pleased with the photos I took that day and I just love the whimsical ornaments Vivi has in her garden. Vivi and her husband have lived in this home for around nineteen years now, the same length of time I have lived in my home, but I remember her previous home in the Blue Mountains which had a full-sized wishing well in the front garden. It was magical.

No chance of this slow moving guy getting too far away!

Our mum loved her garden and preferred large, brightly coloured flowers to the dainty, paler variety. Anything unusual caught her eye and she was very fond of cactus plants and succulents. One of her favourite plants was her Zygocactus and I was thrilled to see Vivi had one in a hanging basket in her garden. They are not a particular favourite of mine, although I think I should get one. They bring back wonderful memories of the excitement my mum showed when her Zygocactus flowered.

One of Mum's favourite plants, Zygocactus. — One of Mum’s favourite plants, Zygocactus. And the bird in the small cage is an ornament!

Vivi loves frogs! She has quite a few in her home and around her garden, ornaments that is. I made her a cross stitch of three frogs in lily pads a few years ago. It took me ages to finish but it was well worth the effort as it looked fantastic when finished and framed.

Frog art in Vivi's garden. — Frog art in Vivi’s garden.

Before the night of Vivi’s birthday was over, Vivi’s grand-daughter asked if we would like a photo taken together. Jess is a lovely girl, and at age nineteen she speaks with Vivi as if she were her friend and not her grandmother. Vivi’s eldest son and family couldn’t make it for her birthday, he has three children, two sons and a gorgeous little daughter. I hope someday I have the same close bond with my grandchildren.

Mum wasn’t overly fussed on the colour pink, she preferred yellow, but I’m still going to show you Vivi’s pretty pink Azaleas, and I will leave you with another verse of “Memories” from Cats, a song that my mum loved. I know she remembers, I know she loves us, I feel her with us; it seems like only yesterday I heard her laughter, felt her hands, combed her hair. How can it possibly be twenty years…..

“Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again…..”

I love you for Eternity Mum. xxxxxx

Australia · enchanting · freedom · pecan nuts · photography

Ethereal

June 17, 2013 Joanne13 Comments

“To hear never-heard sounds,
To see never-seen colors and shapes,
To try to understand the imperceptible
Power pervading the world;
To fly and find pure ethereal substances
That are not of matter
But of that invisible soul pervading reality.
To hear another soul and to whisper to another soul;
To be a lantern in the darkness
Or an umbrella in a stormy day;
To feel much more than know.
To be the eyes of an eagle, slope of a mountain;
To be a wave understanding the influence of the moon;
To be a tree and read the memory of the leaves;
To be an insignificant pedestrian on the streets
Of crazy cities watching, watching, and watching.
To be a smile on the face of a woman
And shine in her memory
As a moment saved without planning.” ~ Dejan Stojanovic.

The first day that a flock of Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos invaded my Pecan Nut Tree was indeed a happy day for this bird-loving, photo taking blogger. For weeks I had listened to their raucous screeching sounds as they flew through the ether, bypassing my garden and heading off to parts unknown.

These are large native Australian birds, and whilst some may regard them as pests, there are many more, including myself, who love the personality, character and appearance of cockatoos.

During one of my early morning photo session I could hear my next door neighbour calling out “shoo, shoo” and when I looked towards her garden, there she was, running around her yard, waving a stick and obviously attempting to remove these angelic beauties from her garden. Not that she had many in her yard, and they were my pecan nuts they were munching on.

I chuckled to myself and continued clicking away with my camera. The cockatoos ignored the stick-waving human. The stick-waver gave up.

We planted our pecan nut tree about eighteen years ago, so you can imagine how large it is now, and we have enjoyed many seasons of munching away on the pecans ourselves. In fact, I’m sure I have a post, somewhere in the archives, of my delicious Pecan Pie…..

…..Here it is! And look at that, I added the recipe on June, 18th, 2010, almost three years ago to the day! And I’m more than happy to share my pie recipe with everyone, unlike my cockatoo friends, who are very possessive with what they regard as their own, as you can see here!

During the silence of the early morning, with around two dozen cockatoos breaking open the hard shells of the pecans, the collective cracking of shells being broken open resembles the sound of a fire burning. You know the crackling sound a fire makes when logs are burning in the fireplace? That’s the noise that the cockatoos make with the shells.

Their white feathers are so pristine in appearance and with the birds being so large, between fifteen to twenty inches in length, when their wings are spread they seem to look as I imagine an angel in flight would look.

Oh okay, yes, you’re right, I don’t imagine an angel with a rounded beak and black beads for eyes, but you do get the picture, don’t you? Their white wings look like gossamer, cascading through the air. I suspect in reality those wings hold power, though my heart wishes to believe they are gossamer.

A white flurry of gossamer wings.... — A white flurry of gossamer wings….

Cockatoos can be tamed and kept as pets, even taught how to talk. Apparently they are very demanding pets. I’ve also read that they are very affectionate birds, which doesn’t surprise me, after having been privileged to watch them interact with one another in the wild.

The long yellow feathers on their head, the crest, has its own set of muscles, allowing the bird to lift their sulphur crest when happy, excited or playful. As I have watched them, I’ve noticed that when something catches their eye somewhere in the distance, they will raise their crest before flying away.

My neighbour, who also feeds the wild birds, (not the stick waving woman!) has a huge pine tree in her garden and the cockatoos love chewing on the pine cones too. In captivity, they can destroy furniture, as they love to chew on wood. Perhaps the stick waver thought they were plotting to destroy her trees…..?

They seem to be quite partial to the exotic orange blooms of my African Tulip tree too. I’m guessing there must be seeds inside the flowers that they enjoy eating. I’ve also watched and wondered, as they shake their heads back when they have a mouthful of delicious orange-ness, just as this next cocky is doing.

I must admit, I wondered whether the cockatoos had left me any pecans on the tree at all! Not that I needed any, as I already have two buckets full on the veranda, waiting to be shelled, so I took another bucket down to the tree last weekend only to find that there were heaps of pecan nuts left for me! These gorgeous white-winged angels are not greedy at all. 🙂

A Sense of Spirit · blessings · daughter · gratitude · Mum · son

Mother’s Day 2013.

May 13, 2013 Joanne7 Comments

Happy Mother's Day to my friends. — Happy Mother’s Day to my friends.

“The most precious jewels you will ever have around your neck
are the arms of your children.” ~ Unknown.

I write this the morning after Mother’s Day, on a cold and misty Monday morning here in Australia. There was no time for sitting at my desk yesterday, I was far too busy enjoying my four children, who all spent most of the day with me for Mother’s Day.

We enjoyed lunch together, ate way too much food, followed by cakes and coffee. My mother-in-law was here as well and the four of us girls chatted away together at the dinner table long after the meal had ended, while the boys watched football matches on the television.

What more could a mother ask?

If really pushed, I could answer that question in an instant ~ if I could have seen my own mother at the table with us, chatting with us as she so loved to do, oh, how wonderful that would have been.

I know she was here, I just couldn’t see her. She visits me often, I know, and I do talk to her, I just don’t hear her replies.

That’s the way it is though, with mother’s and their children, the bond lasts forever, nothing can ever part them, and we rejoice in the new generations whilst holding the past generations still very close to our hearts.

With the time differences throughout the world it may still be Mother’s Day in your part of the world as you read this now, and if so, I wish you the happiest of days filled with the love of your children in your heart. And even if, like me, you are too busy with your babies and are reading my wishes after the actual day, the wishes still remain. Don’t you think that every day is a very special day in the world, when we are the mother of someone?

I know I do.

So, from my heart to yours, I wish you the happiest days forever and always, days filled with the love of with being a mum. xxxxxx

My mum and me. This tiny doll stands at only three inches tall and was saved by my mum for many years after I had finished playing with it.

A Sense of Spirit · remembering · spirituality · unbreakable bonds

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

April 4, 2013May 14, 2013 Joanne4 Comments

“Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow that I’ll say good night until tonight becomes tomorrow.” ~ Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet.

The house appeared to us late one afternoon in August. To this day, I believe we did not find the house, the house already knew us, and was waiting for us to locate it. We were destined to live here.

It wasn’t until the next day that we entered the property, climbed the two stairs up onto the front veranda, walked through the front door and felt the welcoming embrace of the essence of the building. We were home.

This house was not simply bricks and mortar, this house was our home, and our home had a soul, and the soul of the home protected us, nurtured us and guided us along the path that our lives would take throughout the next nine years.

When I look back on those years, I lived in abundant happiness, every day. Perhaps they were the happiest years of my life. In many ways I believe they were, even through the occasional time of sadness, yet with hindsight, as I reflect on those sad times, they were really only sad moments, times when there was a lesson to be learned and some growing to be done.

Everything happens for a reason, even the sadness we experience in our lives. And all of the sadness I felt whilst living in this home was preceded by extreme happiness.

I learned how to grow up during my years of living here. There were lessons to learn. Friendships were formed, and lost. Pets shared our home with us, and some were lost to us. Devastating news was received. A monetary fortune was earned. And throughout every event which took place during those nine years there remained an overwhelming sense of joy, and gratitude, love and happiness.

There were always friends at the house, parties and children.

My two eldest children were born whilst we lived here. Our home held many parties and with every new visitor to our home, there became one constant theme, that our home felt inviting and welcoming. Our home loved and needed our presence, just as it welcomed the arrival of our friends, family and our children.

Shiny, happy people.... — Shiny, happy people….

When the year of 1992 began, everything changed. A subtle shift could be felt, a shift which I initially rejected. I felt afraid.

The most devastating news imaginable reached me from afar. That very same week, I discovered that my third child was on her way. There were changes taking place also with the means to our fortune, the income would soon dwindle. Work situations were changing…..

Change was in the air, in every aspect of our lives…..

Our beloved home knew that the time had arrived for us to prepare to leave.

I have one extremely vivid memory of this time of change, of a day when I was at home, alone. Of a day when I felt the walls of my home gently speaking to me, telling me to let go. I wanted to hug my home and never let go, yet all I could manage to do was lean against the wall, and cry and cry. I realised that I must heed the signs, and stop fighting. I had to listen, I had to let go.

Our 15 year old German Shepherd didn't make the trip with us. We moved just over three months after this photo was taken. — Our 15 year old German Shepherd didn’t make the trip with us. We moved just over three months after this photo was taken.

That was the day I faced reality. I cried my heart out for my impending losses. My fear of losing a loved one, which would ultimately take me away from my home. The loss of all of the wonderful friends I had made whilst living here. The loss of this suburb, this city where my home was located. The loss of my beloved home.

Over twenty years have passed by since I left that home, yet my eyes are welling with tears as I recall leaving there, although even then, I knew it had to be.

A force far greater than anything I had ever experienced in my life, and far greater than anything I have since felt, had come into play. I had no control. I knew that I had to leave.

Methodically, I packed up my home. Progressively, the life I had been living for the previous fifteen years in this city of magic was neatly packed away into what seemed to be hundreds of boxes. Where had all of these possessions come from? I had arrived in this city, in 1977, owning just a few possessions. They had fit into the boot of a car.

For one whole day, late in the month of September, I watched as the removal truck became packed to the rafters with my life. My belongings, my memories….

I stood at the front door of my home as evening approached, watching the removal tuck back out of my driveway and headed away along the street; watching as my life drove away, fifteen years all neatly sorted and packed away in taped up boxes, knowing it would never be the same again, knowing that I would be leaving also within just a few short hours, seven months pregnant, knowing that tomorrow night I would be a thousand kilometres away from here. I would never live in this home again.

And I cried like I have never cried before, or since. My heart broke that day.

Yet for all of the pain I felt when I knew I must leave my home, I wouldn’t change a thing. I couldn’t change a thing. The good far outweighed the bad, the positive outweighed the negative. To live nine years of contentment and love was definitely worth the sadness of leaving.

Can a building possess you for a period of your life? And when the time has arrived for this building to push you out of the nest, sending you out into the big wide world, never to return to its warm folds again, can it really do this?

And can a geographical location, a city, and the surrounding area hold possession over your heart?

I know it can. For nine years I had been carried along on the tide of my life, a life which was overseen by the home in which I lived. They were happy years, precious years, years that I will always remember vividly and treasure forever.

The time had come to move on, yet after twenty years of being away, this city in which I once lived still holds a piece of my heart. It always will.

“The long and winding road that leads to your door
Will never disappear
I’ve seen that road before. It always leads me here
Leads me to your door. “ ~ Lennon /McCartney.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

M	T	W	T	F	S	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31

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