Tag: gratitude

freedom · gratitude

Looking Inside the Mind of an Optimist

Joanne2 Comments

“Never mention the worst. Drop it out of your consciousness. This practice will bring all of your powers to focus on the attainment of the best. It will bring the best to you”. ~ Norman Vincent Peale.

2011 is the first year in which I have actually gone out and purchased a Gratitude Diary and started to make use of it immediately.

You see, it’s all a part of my master plan. I have chosen my word for the year, for the theme which I have chosen to live by throughout all of this year.

My chosen word is “Freedom” and a main aspect of my theme that I am aiming to achieve is freedom from unwanted thoughts.

I love the word “Freedom”. It encompasses such a wide range of aspects, all relevant to the ultimate achievement of my goal to attain freedom.

Like all new habits, banishing unwanted thoughts from your mind takes time. I know that is true for me. The easiest thing to do, and the biggest mistake to make, is to allow your thoughts to wander off, unchecked, when you are wishing to form your new habit!

Reining in your thoughts could be likened to beginning a healthy eating plan, or a new exercise regime. Old habits have a happy knack of dying hard.

But anything worthwhile is worth sticking to and before long a whole new series of habits have taken the place of the old ones.

Another point I will be paying particular attention to is, as Norman Vincent Peale says in the above quote, “never mention the worst”.

If mention of the unwanted must be made, I have discovered through many years of practise that your statement can be turned around, from the negative to the positive.

It’s the old scenario of not saying that your glass is half empty, but rather your glass is half full!

Example : You could complain about not having any room in your cupboards, due to having too much unwanted “stuff” stashed away inside of them….OR….

You could tell the story of how much pleasure you will feel when you have discarded all of your unwanted possessions, leaving you with available space inside the cupboards.

It’s a subtle difference and it can change your whole mindset, by focussing on the positive scenario.

That’s where a Gratitude Diary can make a huge difference to your life, forcing your thoughts into a state of appreciation, hence forming a whole new habit, for you to easily live by.

I’m a firm believer that regardless of how dreadful any situation may appear to be, especially when it has just occurred and feelings are raw, there is always a reason for the event taking place.

Sometimes it may take a little bit of deeper delving into a situation, to discover the message the Universe is sending. Don’t give up ~ search hard enough and you will find your answers.

Stay optimistic, show appreciation and the best will find you. 🙂

Footnote : Today I can celebrate, as this is my one hundredth post here at Home Life Online; Everyday Inspirations.

Today, I am grateful for having come up with 100 ideas for topics to write about!   Jo.

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The Sounds of Silence

Joanne2 Comments

How long has it been…three, perhaps four weeks, since I have spent the day alone, at home?

I can’t quite remember; it’s been so long, too long.

Days of solitude are a necessity to me, as essential as food and sleep.

But it hasn’t always been that way.

When my four children were all much younger the house was continually noisy, in one way or another. Talking, television switched on by the first child out of bed in the morning, music playing (in more than one room), phones ringing, and usually all at the same time!

On the odd occasion when I would be in the house, in silence, I couldn’t cope; I simply had to switch on music, or the television, anything to cut the deafening silence!

I’m not sure how the changes occurred, the changes within myself, which brought about the demand (yes, it was a demand!) for peace and silence around me.

The sounds around home have altered now. My second oldest lives in her own home now, my eldest is quiet by nature (thank you, God!), and then there’s the two teenagers.

As is the case with many siblings, they are constantly bickering, only pausing long enough to sing together. Yes, sing. They have the same taste in music and, as teenagers do, know every word, to every song they hear.

Their singing can actually be rather entertaining, especially so when I way up the pro’s and cons…would I rather listen to squabbling, or the singing? Hmm…

Today there will be no voices, no phones, no mobile phones, no skype, no texting, no online chatting ~ everyone is out.

I have the house to myself.

My herbal tea is made and my ironing awaits me. Whilst ironing, the only sounds I will hear will be the pattering of the raindrops falling, the occasional chorus of frogs croaking and the distant buzzing of the cicada’s.

It’s a day to restore my equilibrium, to silence my busy brain, to focus on the here and now.

A day to appreciate the Sounds of Silence….

(Photo credit ~National Geographic at Google Images)

freedom · gratitude

My Year of Freedom and Gratitude

Joanne4 Comments

“To be grateful for “what is” has been my personal path to freedom. When I stop to allow and fully accept the reality of this current moment ~ NOW ~ a calmness and centeredness is revealed and available to me.” ~ Morthern Spears

Over the past few days I have read a lot about choosing a personal theme for this year; finding a word, or perhaps a phrase, which you can focus on throughout the year.

I suppose another way of putting it is to say your word should represent something you would like to achieve this year, something you hold dear to your heart.

Your word should represent the change and improvement you would like to achieve for yourself during 2011.

After much contemplation, I have decided that my own personal theme for this year will be “freedom”.

I must admit that freedom actually became my focus during the latter half of last year. In fact, when I contribute articles to the Calm Space, they are listed under “Freedom Space”. It therefore seems most fitting that I make it my year to have freedom uppermost in my mind, as I travel through this year.

There is so much more freedom to be achieved.

One of my main focuses in my quest for freedom is to live in the moment, therefore…

I choose to freely cut the strings that have tied me to past habits I have formed in my life.

With faith in the future, knowing that events will unfold around me in just the way they are meant to unfold, I need never worry myself about the future.

My focus will be trained upon the here and now, savouring the reality of the current moment as each new and wonderful event reveals itself to me.

And, most importantly, keeping my eyes wide open, I will show gratitude for all of the Everyday Inspirations I find in my life, recording their appearance to me in my Gratitude Diary.

I give myself permission to live a life embraced by freedom.

What about you? Have you given any thought to how you would like 2011 to unfold?

It’s not too late to forget the past, let the future take care of itself and centre your thoughts in the moment. Listen to your heart. What is it saying to you? Listen carefully, as your heart will speak to you, letting you know what it is you most desire from this year….from life.

friends · gardening · gratitude · happiness

Feathered Friends…and Fears!

JoanneLeave a comment
Young Magpie

Going back to the beginning of time, for myself at least, I have always been afraid of birds.

Ornithophobia ~ the fear of birds.

As a general rule, ornithophobia is brought about by an unpleasant experience, perhaps as a child, involving birds, such as being attacked in some way or pecked badly when feeding birds at a picnic in a park.

If the fear is left unchecked it can, apparently, lead to fear of leaving the home (agoraphobia). The ornithophobia sufferer could possibly fear an unexpected encounter with their feathered enemies, therefore wishing to stay within the safe confines of their home.

Another theory for the cause of ornithophobia is when a child has lived with a parent who has an extreme fear of birds and this fear is passed onto the child.

Which of the above gave me my own fear of birds?

None of them!

I haven’t even seen the Alfred Hitchcock/Daphne du Maurier movie “The Birds”!

There is not a single bad bird experience in my early life to relate!

And both of my parents loved birds!

The strange thing is, there is no logical reason for my fear.

However I do recall, as a child, having nightmares which had me waking up all a-tremble, in which birds were flapping their feathers around me!

During my teenage years, a friend suggested that my fear may not be of birds, but rather feathers.

Pteronophobia ~ the fear of feathers.

Pteronophobia (please don’t ask me how to pronounce the word!) is believed to have the sufferer in fear of being near feathers, being tickled by feathers and even afraid to use a feather duster!

Um, I’ve always loved collecting feathers, find the gentleness of feathers against my skin very soothing and have never given my feather duster any further thought other than knowing  it will dust my furniture successfully!

As a result of my fear….

…I have never owned a bird as a pet.

Never, that is, until August last year, when a pretty little feathered fellow, with the most beautiful personality and expressive eyes, won my heart. You can read the story of the first bird I have ever owned here.

So much for the theories!

I’m afraid that I’m not a typical example of a recovering ornithophobic or pteronophic person. The extreme fear of being around birds was most certainly real, although it has never caused problems in my life. There was no explanation for my fear and I have never felt the need to seek professional advice to overcome my fear.

How is ornithophobia and pteronophobia treated?

It is suggested that the sufferer confronts their fear and is taught some positive self-talk. Relaxation and meditation are recommended to curb their anxiety. Hypnosis and medication may even be recommended.

How did I overcome my fear of birds?

Gradually, unexpectedly, and without even trying!

During the last three years I have spent hours, which have turned into days and even weeks, out in my garden, alone ~ planting, digging, weeding, mulching, watering, pruning ~ with a family of magpies standing nearby, chortling to me and quietly walking so close to me when my back has been turned that I could have reached down and touched them!

They are not afraid of me!

The magpies have talked to me in their own very intelligent bird language. At times, I have been certain that I know exactly what they are telling me!

The adult birds bring their baby birds to me, asking for titbits of food from my kitchen. They are so trusting and tame that I’m sure they would allow me to hand feed them, in the same way I hand feed my own little pet bird, Charlie.

Gratitude for my new friends and their habitat.

Just as surely as nothing in particular, (that I can put my finger on anyway,) gave me the fear of birds, my fear has vanished.

As I have pottered the hours away quietly working in my garden, appreciating every brightly coloured flower and butterfly, the industrious bees and warmth of the sun, I have felt no fear.

My garden is a safe, enjoyable haven.

Perhaps my calm and appreciative demeanour has been evident to the birds, who have happily shared their “home” with me, sensing the happiness I have felt within my surroundings with their own “sixth sense”.

Whatever the reason is for overcoming my fear of birds, I’m just happy that it happened! 🙂

advice · challenges · Changes · freedom · gratitude · happiness · inspiration · vision

Sense and Sensibility ~ Part 1

Joanne4 Comments

After my husband and I first met, it didn’t take us too long to realise one striking difference between the way we each looked at life ~ which was…

His head ruled his heart,

while,

My heart ruled my head.

Over time, and convinced of the (false) belief that I would please those close to me, and most of all my husband, I made the effort to kiss my airy-fairy ways goodbye, lock away my gut-instincts, hunches and intuition and throw away the key.

“Reason” became my middle name. Everything simply had to be well thought through, the pro’s and con’s weighed up and carefully balanced, in fact, every action I took must have a reason for it, before being given the honour of materialising.

My newly found practicality, along with my down to earth attitude and conservative manner would bring beams of pride to all of those people who I held in high regard. Yes, it would…

Surely it would…It would, wouldn’t it?

Well, of course it did!

With my newly developed maturity and common sense, a certain standard was expected of me. And I aimed to please.

But every now and then, rarely actually, but just occasionally, I would make contact with kindred spirit, a dreamer of the highest standard, a gut-reactor who thought nothing of throwing caution to the wind. I would scramble around to find that discarded key, unlock my soul, and off I would go, reverting back to my flippant ways of times gone by.

It was during these so-called “moments of madness” that I would feel free and alive again, finding the strength again to move mountains and swim across the oceans. And all because my intuition told me so.

After much tut-tutting from those-who-knew-what-was-best-for-me, (and plenty of pouting on my part), I would make my return to the Land of Common Sense, unlocking the gates of wisdom with my reliable Key of Reason.

Did I manage to retain the stamp of approval, kindly bestowed on me by those who I held in high regard? Yes, I did. Everyone approved.

Everyone…except for me.

For many years I continued with this masquerade, pleasing the multitudes, whilst never pleasing myself. Saying yes, when I secretly held back the urge to say no.

Who knew I was living a lie, a life ruled by other people’s standards? No one. ‘Coz I always found a way to enjoy life, look on the positive side of every situation, skilfully navigating my way around the obstacles.

I didn’t just fool the people in my life; I was also fooling myself, by being something that I wasn’t.

Then something changed. That “something” changed absolutely everything. Hot on the tail of being “Ms Fix-It”, “The Whipping Post” and “Communal Door Mat”, I walked away, never to return. I turned my back on it all.

I came home, but not just home to my house, I came home to me.

My instincts had been screaming out to me, telling me that the place I went to every morning to work, where we (my husband and I) each operated our separate businesses from, was not the place where I should be spending my days.

While I had my own business and my husband an entirely different business, which we had worked at from the same premises for a number of years, the two businesses constantly overlapped. He made decisions and choices for my business and I always managed to get dragged, (screaming and kicking, I will add!) into his.

Packing up my bare essentials and moving my business home was a blessing to me. Throwing caution to the wind worked well for me. No amount of coercing changed my mind. With my heart back where it belonged, in its rightful place as The Guide to My Life, I have come of age.

Did I upset anyone by taking such a strong stance for my life? You betcha I did!

Was I ever swayed back into pleasing everyone but me? Never.

Did I care? Honestly ~ No.

Over the last three years my life has evolved into what I want it to be. New lessons have appeared in the most unexpected of places.

And all of these unexpected places have been cleverly disguised as The Simple Things in Life.

(Photo credit ~ alwayschallengeunhappiness.blogspot.com)